Hello again! I have managed to drag myself out of bed to get some lunch and do some tinternet work... Had to email my volunteering place as i have not heard from them for some time!! I hope they are still expecting us... Incidentally I have found another organisation at a lovely spot further down the coast that we are travelling to in the next few days... it may be nearing time for my first interview!! As yet I have no idea what to ask or say, but am sure that will come to me. (This is a new found confidence that in the UK would never have happened; but here, seeing everything and feeling this earth with my feet, it seems so much more doable). It is an org that is still working with Tsunami affected people so I hope to maybe volunteer with them in some aspect. Or even shadow a volunteer for a day or two... (that last idea just occured to me actually... Ah, how the magic happens!) That is very exciting for me aye.
I am still ill today. My throat is red raw and I am coughing a LOT. I think the autorickshaw rides are NOT helping. at one stage yesterday I was in a traffic jam and a truck's exhaust was pumping fume right into the carriage!! SO today I am under limited house arrest. I do NOT want this to turn bronchial (or any more so) or I could be in some proper trouble! Today instead I have been sleeping (yes, yes, I am lazy. 6.5 hour time difference though... sympathy please?!), planning our next move (getting my lungs out of the city for a few days) , and thinking about volunteering ideas. We are going for some lunch soon and then I shall go beack to the hotel room and do some typing about my impressions of my new land so far. I will learn some Tamil too. Tamil is hard for me, and sometimes people are super pleased when we talk Tamil, and encouraging, and other times they look like they hate us. Its confusing and not all that friendly. We are trying though. I am also noticing that as a woman I am not really spoken to much. DB is the star attraction. Which is fine, but strange. I am often the only woman in restaurants. The public spaces are very much male. But we are in downtown chennai though I think, we haven't been up north yet where it may all be different. For example, we haven't seen barely another westerner, large building, or western-style commercial outlet (maccy dees, business centre etc) yet - but these definitely exist. We are meant to go exploring further today but these lungs are worrying us a bit so DB may go on his own (on the Wi-Fi hunt. hehe) and I am, as I said, staying indoors... DB is going on the hunt for some strepsils or sommat equivalent asap. Atm I am coping with brushing my teeth a lot and gargling salt water - which I have to say is pretty darned nifty. Oh, and a lot of ibuprofen, which can be a bit misleading as it makes me think my throat is better than it is...
Anyway...
Curry for lunch again! The food is delicious but curry all the time is a bit taxing I have to say. although truthfully I am not craving anything else at the mo so wil keep on with the curry! Dhaal and roti is my favourite for now - relatively plain. Yesterday we had our first 'meal' (thali) which is a taster, almost, of many types of dishes, placed inside a silver tray with a banana leaf on it. You take all the little trays out and then rice is dolloped onto the banana leaf-tray, and you mix in the other dishes with it as you go. Is fantastic! Although a lot of the time we have no clue what we are eating, but that is all part of the fun of the fair really. DB had no less than 13 dishes yesterday. for 50p as well! kerazy deliciousness. We are off for another for lunch today - it is the main way of having lunch here.
So yes, as I said, soon we are heading down the coast for a bit of a backpacker chill-out time and research around it. Cycling tours and swimming pools (am going to scafe my way into a posh hotel for the day and sunbathe and read and be a tourist by the pool.) Ahhh... research doesn't have to be allllll bad. Actually when i saw the volunteering place I want to interview at I was very excitable, which is lovely to know. My research fires were dampened somewhat back home and it's nice to have a change of scenery - physically and academic-focus wise.
Well, i better look up this volunteering place on tinternet. I have the air con blowing straight in my face and man! It is COLD!!!
Back soon no doubt!! Enjoy the snow for me anyoone in the UK...
x J
Thursday 30 October 2008
Wednesday 29 October 2008
New Beginnings...
I am so happy to be back! I haven't been able to write for so long! Well, I have been sooo busy!
I have moved out of my housey... this took a whole day longer than anticipated so we actually moved out on Friday, had a sleepless night because of the onsite club that played banging house music until 4am (?!! why?!! it was a posh hotel as well. Arses) , and just caught the train on Saturday (the hotel locked us out of our rooms and we nearly missed our train because of it. Yes, I was stressed; no I shan't be staying with them again). We had a wonderful time in London with my nearest and dearest and then Monday we caught our flights here! we landed yesterday morning and spent most of yesterday sleeping I have to say. We are here for so long there is no point hammering ourselves in the first week!
I do have bad lungs though... It started just before we moved out and we think it was all the cillet bang from my obsessive cleaning (we are getting the whole deposit back though! wooty!) which irritated the lining of my throat and lungs because although I have a cough I have no other symptoms of a cold or owt. The I thought I was getting better so had some cigarettes at the weekend (I know, rank) and then came out here... to a very polluted city... Am getting better I think, but am generally pretty gross and coughing a lot of mankiness up. Nice. We have had such adventure though! Our Tamil is being generally understood and we have had two meals - both cheap as chips and delicious - and eaten with our hands... It is strange how full it makes you, because you eat so slowly. Is great fun though. And we have been ripped off a couple of times, but this is fine - we are beginners. we have had autorickshaw rides, chats with hawkers (children. Eek. Pulled heartstrings and moral confusion abound here), negotiated a restaurant, and got a lovely budget hotel room (in a pretty manky and poor part of town - but then all of it seems to be pretty much as bad). This pace is NUTS. I love it and am terrified at the same time. The roads are insane, people tend to drive with their horns rather than any indicators or anything, and everyone drives to overtake the person next to them - whichever way. The main roads are like the wacky races - you have cars, rickshaws, autorickshaws, scooters, motorbikes, taxis, cyclists - all on the same road and all going generally the same speed but overtaking each other every so often. It was funny. And dangerous, but mostly funny. Oh, and I learned not to walk around with a rucksack. DB and I thought we could find a Wi-Fi place (ha! What a joke. Maybe possible - but in a land where too many people don't have shoes, Wi Fi seems a bit flash at normal person level) so got our rucksacks on and were stared and and targeted like no ones, when in normal life we have been just fine and I have been surprised at the lack of attention we have had. I hated it, I felt like the worst kind of tourist. Gah, never again.
We went to the beach too. That was yesterday though and we were very tired and not in a beachy kinda mood. I wanted to take pics of the boats though, see what kind they were etc etc - after the Tsunami the style of boat changed a lot from funding from agencies. Workwise I am keeping my eyes peeled and trying to start some kind of field journal thing, although at the mo i think this will suffice. I want to get a notebook and keep some notes about what i see and think... we start volunteering in three weeks and so shall go and see a Tsunami affected area before that to get a feel of the physical effects of the event and aftermath... and then we shall be a bit more backpacker-y and make our way back up the coast to a few traveller enclaves and tourist spots. Should be relaxing after Chennai - this place hardly stops! everyone is on the move all the time, there are oxen hither and thither eating out of bins, children begging, disabled people begging, old people smiling - and begging - cars beeping, cats scavenging... wowsers. An assault on the senses! Amazing though; it is so much better than being at home. I have realised that leaving england was probably a really good idea, I was getting a bit down there. Now I am away and living life and busy busy!! Out of the groundhog dfay that is news on the global economy and gah! CREDIT CRUNCH! Even the channel four news - a station I usually rely on for news - has just said the same news for a month now like nothing happens in the world. It has been driving me barmy. It is nice to get my nose out of England and some perspective again.
And I have given up smoking! I only ever smoked when I had a drink anyway, but too much and unwillingly. It is a Bad Addiction indeed and one I wish to be rid of! DB was shocked - he didn't believe me obviously. We shall see how it goes.
Oh, as well, I have decided to put off having my wee baba until I have completed... I will get up the stick while doing it, but not have one. I have decided that if I wait until I finish then a) I *will* finish, and b) everyone will be super happy for me and congratulate me instead of being 'wow! How brilliant! but ah, what a shame - will you now be able to finish your course that you are funded for, that your Sup asked you to come along and do because he thikns you are a bit good? Ah, shame that.' And me being guilty because I know they have a point. No disappointment allowed!! and c) I will be able to spend allllllll my time with my baby, on the dole, while I work out my next move and won't be like 'ah! Little baby I love you so but I have data anlaysis and writing up to do!'
so there we go - evidence of my first grown-up, selfless decision.
Workwise, I am busy learning everyday skills and Tamil, and keeping my eyes peeled about society and issues etc. Not learned much eyt, apart from women tend to stay indoors. What an intrepid observer I am! I am so much better being here though, than in england. I was always so worried about coming here, like anything I thought there would be useless here but actually whatever I thought or wanted to 'find out', when you are here it starts to become more logistically positive. Whatever I find out, it will be ok dokey, and I will work with that info. i am trying to get a PhD in the end - not change the world!!
better go I spose, am in an internet cafe and the air-con is freaking out my wee throat!!
x J
PS. DB has found a pizza chain with Wi-FI!! Hehe. He wins, I was convinced it would only exist in the Sheraton or something. But, then again, I get an excuse to eat pizza! How deliciously naughty...
I have moved out of my housey... this took a whole day longer than anticipated so we actually moved out on Friday, had a sleepless night because of the onsite club that played banging house music until 4am (?!! why?!! it was a posh hotel as well. Arses) , and just caught the train on Saturday (the hotel locked us out of our rooms and we nearly missed our train because of it. Yes, I was stressed; no I shan't be staying with them again). We had a wonderful time in London with my nearest and dearest and then Monday we caught our flights here! we landed yesterday morning and spent most of yesterday sleeping I have to say. We are here for so long there is no point hammering ourselves in the first week!
I do have bad lungs though... It started just before we moved out and we think it was all the cillet bang from my obsessive cleaning (we are getting the whole deposit back though! wooty!) which irritated the lining of my throat and lungs because although I have a cough I have no other symptoms of a cold or owt. The I thought I was getting better so had some cigarettes at the weekend (I know, rank) and then came out here... to a very polluted city... Am getting better I think, but am generally pretty gross and coughing a lot of mankiness up. Nice. We have had such adventure though! Our Tamil is being generally understood and we have had two meals - both cheap as chips and delicious - and eaten with our hands... It is strange how full it makes you, because you eat so slowly. Is great fun though. And we have been ripped off a couple of times, but this is fine - we are beginners. we have had autorickshaw rides, chats with hawkers (children. Eek. Pulled heartstrings and moral confusion abound here), negotiated a restaurant, and got a lovely budget hotel room (in a pretty manky and poor part of town - but then all of it seems to be pretty much as bad). This pace is NUTS. I love it and am terrified at the same time. The roads are insane, people tend to drive with their horns rather than any indicators or anything, and everyone drives to overtake the person next to them - whichever way. The main roads are like the wacky races - you have cars, rickshaws, autorickshaws, scooters, motorbikes, taxis, cyclists - all on the same road and all going generally the same speed but overtaking each other every so often. It was funny. And dangerous, but mostly funny. Oh, and I learned not to walk around with a rucksack. DB and I thought we could find a Wi-Fi place (ha! What a joke. Maybe possible - but in a land where too many people don't have shoes, Wi Fi seems a bit flash at normal person level) so got our rucksacks on and were stared and and targeted like no ones, when in normal life we have been just fine and I have been surprised at the lack of attention we have had. I hated it, I felt like the worst kind of tourist. Gah, never again.
We went to the beach too. That was yesterday though and we were very tired and not in a beachy kinda mood. I wanted to take pics of the boats though, see what kind they were etc etc - after the Tsunami the style of boat changed a lot from funding from agencies. Workwise I am keeping my eyes peeled and trying to start some kind of field journal thing, although at the mo i think this will suffice. I want to get a notebook and keep some notes about what i see and think... we start volunteering in three weeks and so shall go and see a Tsunami affected area before that to get a feel of the physical effects of the event and aftermath... and then we shall be a bit more backpacker-y and make our way back up the coast to a few traveller enclaves and tourist spots. Should be relaxing after Chennai - this place hardly stops! everyone is on the move all the time, there are oxen hither and thither eating out of bins, children begging, disabled people begging, old people smiling - and begging - cars beeping, cats scavenging... wowsers. An assault on the senses! Amazing though; it is so much better than being at home. I have realised that leaving england was probably a really good idea, I was getting a bit down there. Now I am away and living life and busy busy!! Out of the groundhog dfay that is news on the global economy and gah! CREDIT CRUNCH! Even the channel four news - a station I usually rely on for news - has just said the same news for a month now like nothing happens in the world. It has been driving me barmy. It is nice to get my nose out of England and some perspective again.
And I have given up smoking! I only ever smoked when I had a drink anyway, but too much and unwillingly. It is a Bad Addiction indeed and one I wish to be rid of! DB was shocked - he didn't believe me obviously. We shall see how it goes.
Oh, as well, I have decided to put off having my wee baba until I have completed... I will get up the stick while doing it, but not have one. I have decided that if I wait until I finish then a) I *will* finish, and b) everyone will be super happy for me and congratulate me instead of being 'wow! How brilliant! but ah, what a shame - will you now be able to finish your course that you are funded for, that your Sup asked you to come along and do because he thikns you are a bit good? Ah, shame that.' And me being guilty because I know they have a point. No disappointment allowed!! and c) I will be able to spend allllllll my time with my baby, on the dole, while I work out my next move and won't be like 'ah! Little baby I love you so but I have data anlaysis and writing up to do!'
so there we go - evidence of my first grown-up, selfless decision.
Workwise, I am busy learning everyday skills and Tamil, and keeping my eyes peeled about society and issues etc. Not learned much eyt, apart from women tend to stay indoors. What an intrepid observer I am! I am so much better being here though, than in england. I was always so worried about coming here, like anything I thought there would be useless here but actually whatever I thought or wanted to 'find out', when you are here it starts to become more logistically positive. Whatever I find out, it will be ok dokey, and I will work with that info. i am trying to get a PhD in the end - not change the world!!
better go I spose, am in an internet cafe and the air-con is freaking out my wee throat!!
x J
PS. DB has found a pizza chain with Wi-FI!! Hehe. He wins, I was convinced it would only exist in the Sheraton or something. But, then again, I get an excuse to eat pizza! How deliciously naughty...
Tuesday 21 October 2008
Busy beeeeeeeeeeee, busy bee-me
Today has been a crazy Day of Action! I finished my blog entry earlier and then cleaned the walls in the bedroom (how I got so much moisturiser and cleanser all over them I do not know), cleaned and packed the bathroom and have cleaned all the cupboards and packed eveything in the kitchen! Wooot! I have also painted over the wee holes left by nails from photos etc (pretty darned well I have to say). I now have one cupboard left in the kitchen with all the cleaning stuff in, and the walls and floors. And the fridge but that shan't take long. It has defrosted so that is cool. Sadly, now we have no food so we have to eat pizza. Oh dear.
I haven't stopped from 10.30 to 7pm. Well, I ate a sandwich. DB has been very busy and assures me all is well in his moving-world and didn't even tut at me when I looked skeptical with my eyebrow. Such extreme joviality can only be a good sign. He thinks the garage mess (a LOT of mess) is *fine* and so is his office. I am still a bit worried but he is working away on it... so... I am upstairs in the bedrooms and keeping out of any house-moving. He did also go to the tip numerous times with all my rubbish bags and tables etc I am chucking so that moved us out quite a bit. Yay! I think I am well in control (eek! famous last words eh?!) - basically everything in the house is packed that is ours and mine. All DB's stuff is in piles but that is his worry. Well, I did say I woud help him pack if he had a pile of things ready to just go into a box but he said all will be well. He is on an all-nighter tonight...
We get our moving van at 8am tomorrow. We have stacks of boxes downstairs and when they have gone the house will really start to look empty. I have about half a day of cleaning to do in the kitchen and still have the communal areas to do, but that should be fine with tomorrow avo and Thurs am. I can't wait to leave now!! I wanted to go boozing on Thursday to celebrate but think some food and tele would be more likely in order... And Friday I may well go to the library. DB has lined up jobs to do on Friday - one of which is selling our car to the random guy at the tip who asked me if it was for sale when I was there. And now he has bought it! And we can offload it at any time, just up the road! How fabulously convenient! This is very wonderful news for us - we were going to scrap it at the end of July but had to go to cornwall in it in the end, when it broke down in the same way as it had for aggggges - and which was one of the reasons for scrapping it. But it was such a stupid problem with it, which was fixed straight away and then it passed its MOT with little fuss and now we have sold it for some money! Woot!
Jamie Oliver's ministry of food is on later. I am ambivalent about this programme. On the one hand it seems like a good idea, and on the other it is highly irritating. Hmm. Am not feeling too brainy atm so think I will stare at it regardless of my opinion. Sometimes slagging off tele is very good fun.
Wellll. I am going to see when pizza time is going to be. And then I shall chill and read for a bit and think about what I have to do tomorrow, and make sure all my clothes are right for the next few days, and for TN. Getting all these boxes out of the house will be amazing! Cannae wait!
x J
I haven't stopped from 10.30 to 7pm. Well, I ate a sandwich. DB has been very busy and assures me all is well in his moving-world and didn't even tut at me when I looked skeptical with my eyebrow. Such extreme joviality can only be a good sign. He thinks the garage mess (a LOT of mess) is *fine* and so is his office. I am still a bit worried but he is working away on it... so... I am upstairs in the bedrooms and keeping out of any house-moving. He did also go to the tip numerous times with all my rubbish bags and tables etc I am chucking so that moved us out quite a bit. Yay! I think I am well in control (eek! famous last words eh?!) - basically everything in the house is packed that is ours and mine. All DB's stuff is in piles but that is his worry. Well, I did say I woud help him pack if he had a pile of things ready to just go into a box but he said all will be well. He is on an all-nighter tonight...
We get our moving van at 8am tomorrow. We have stacks of boxes downstairs and when they have gone the house will really start to look empty. I have about half a day of cleaning to do in the kitchen and still have the communal areas to do, but that should be fine with tomorrow avo and Thurs am. I can't wait to leave now!! I wanted to go boozing on Thursday to celebrate but think some food and tele would be more likely in order... And Friday I may well go to the library. DB has lined up jobs to do on Friday - one of which is selling our car to the random guy at the tip who asked me if it was for sale when I was there. And now he has bought it! And we can offload it at any time, just up the road! How fabulously convenient! This is very wonderful news for us - we were going to scrap it at the end of July but had to go to cornwall in it in the end, when it broke down in the same way as it had for aggggges - and which was one of the reasons for scrapping it. But it was such a stupid problem with it, which was fixed straight away and then it passed its MOT with little fuss and now we have sold it for some money! Woot!
Jamie Oliver's ministry of food is on later. I am ambivalent about this programme. On the one hand it seems like a good idea, and on the other it is highly irritating. Hmm. Am not feeling too brainy atm so think I will stare at it regardless of my opinion. Sometimes slagging off tele is very good fun.
Wellll. I am going to see when pizza time is going to be. And then I shall chill and read for a bit and think about what I have to do tomorrow, and make sure all my clothes are right for the next few days, and for TN. Getting all these boxes out of the house will be amazing! Cannae wait!
x J
'Eckers
This morning I have been a busy! I have been to the docs and starting packing and started a fight with DB. Woot!
Had our final japanese encephalitus and rabies jabs this morn! Regardless of how I, a lifelong student, feel at having to get up at eight am, having two nasty jabs by half nine is Not Pleasant. So I was grumpy and tired and irritable and then DB told the nurse that we were very unorganised and had loads to do in the house before moving, which made me VERY ANGRY!! I was so angry! HE is unorganised and not doing any packing, not me! I have worked my butt off every day, and sacrificed my uni work to do it, with a view to doing it when we have moved out. But no! we are unorganised i.e. I have done nothing, in his eyes. I was so angry. And then we came home and I came upstairs to stay out of his way if I can't keep a civil tongue in my head. Am just tired and overreacting. Well, I am not, but I am also cross about how - in the future - he won't have finished packing and I will be so frustrated. He is an alien to me sometimes. But being angry about that now is silly, because he may pull something I don't know about out of the bag. Hmmm, I doubt it. When we went to Guatemala he hadn't packed when we had ten minutes to go before our train left. Not a single thing. He was still working. See, he doesn't sit around and scratch his bum but works constantly, but I wonder if he is very efficient in it. Why can't he organise time to work and time to pack? I have! It is a very important life skill. I wonder if because he works for himself he is a bit feral, and not had the necessary work socialisation where people depend on you constantly and you have five o clock deadlines to complete stuff - then go home and do other stuff. For him work is 24/7. Which is admirable and keeps me in grub and socks, but sometimes drives me insaaaaaaaaaane, because I can compartmentalise my priorities and so to him, I think, look like I am not as busy.
Arg, anyway. He looks lovely.
Yesterday I did the housey alll day and then made dinner and then read through lots of my ethics notes in front of the tele. It made me feel much better because there is lots about 'allaying fears' in the research and its unpredictability ('organic' development) which shows to me that at this stage I am not meant to be as chilled out as a sandboy. There is also stuff about how preparing is difficult but when you are there it can be 'very pleasurable'. I hope so!!!!!
So today I am cleaning the bedroom and bathroom for two hours (until 12), then I shall eat sommat and start on the kitchen! Tomorrow we move out all the boxes and then I hope the house will look like we are moving out of it... !!
Gah. Unorganised my a*se.
I wonder if on Friday I shouldn't try and go to the uni library in the city we are staying in. (Are not staying in my uni town.) Then I can spend the day reading about doing research and things to make me feel better. I am *very* anxious, but repressing it for now. I don't think I am prepared enough. I have worked hard on methodology but forgot that that is just the method, but what am I going to *do* when I am there?! What is my plan? What are my ambitions? Where shall I start? I need to purge all this and read about aid and TN and stuff.
Or maybe I am just panicking. This is when a more active Sup might be useful. Am feeling a bit lost but would never in a million years email him for a whine. No way. I will work it out!!
x J
Had our final japanese encephalitus and rabies jabs this morn! Regardless of how I, a lifelong student, feel at having to get up at eight am, having two nasty jabs by half nine is Not Pleasant. So I was grumpy and tired and irritable and then DB told the nurse that we were very unorganised and had loads to do in the house before moving, which made me VERY ANGRY!! I was so angry! HE is unorganised and not doing any packing, not me! I have worked my butt off every day, and sacrificed my uni work to do it, with a view to doing it when we have moved out. But no! we are unorganised i.e. I have done nothing, in his eyes. I was so angry. And then we came home and I came upstairs to stay out of his way if I can't keep a civil tongue in my head. Am just tired and overreacting. Well, I am not, but I am also cross about how - in the future - he won't have finished packing and I will be so frustrated. He is an alien to me sometimes. But being angry about that now is silly, because he may pull something I don't know about out of the bag. Hmmm, I doubt it. When we went to Guatemala he hadn't packed when we had ten minutes to go before our train left. Not a single thing. He was still working. See, he doesn't sit around and scratch his bum but works constantly, but I wonder if he is very efficient in it. Why can't he organise time to work and time to pack? I have! It is a very important life skill. I wonder if because he works for himself he is a bit feral, and not had the necessary work socialisation where people depend on you constantly and you have five o clock deadlines to complete stuff - then go home and do other stuff. For him work is 24/7. Which is admirable and keeps me in grub and socks, but sometimes drives me insaaaaaaaaaane, because I can compartmentalise my priorities and so to him, I think, look like I am not as busy.
Arg, anyway. He looks lovely.
Yesterday I did the housey alll day and then made dinner and then read through lots of my ethics notes in front of the tele. It made me feel much better because there is lots about 'allaying fears' in the research and its unpredictability ('organic' development) which shows to me that at this stage I am not meant to be as chilled out as a sandboy. There is also stuff about how preparing is difficult but when you are there it can be 'very pleasurable'. I hope so!!!!!
So today I am cleaning the bedroom and bathroom for two hours (until 12), then I shall eat sommat and start on the kitchen! Tomorrow we move out all the boxes and then I hope the house will look like we are moving out of it... !!
Gah. Unorganised my a*se.
I wonder if on Friday I shouldn't try and go to the uni library in the city we are staying in. (Are not staying in my uni town.) Then I can spend the day reading about doing research and things to make me feel better. I am *very* anxious, but repressing it for now. I don't think I am prepared enough. I have worked hard on methodology but forgot that that is just the method, but what am I going to *do* when I am there?! What is my plan? What are my ambitions? Where shall I start? I need to purge all this and read about aid and TN and stuff.
Or maybe I am just panicking. This is when a more active Sup might be useful. Am feeling a bit lost but would never in a million years email him for a whine. No way. I will work it out!!
x J
Monday 20 October 2008
More moving house...
Ug I have spent sooo many days moving house! I am tired of moving housey! I did our bedroom today and inadvertently managed to also sort out my packing and clothes that I will need for the next week before Inja. This took a lot longer than I thought (the essence of packing I am finding) but I am now all ready to go almost! This is coooooooool. And my bag is not so heavy yet...
Hopefully my laptop rucksack malarky has been sorted out... I so hope so! I really, really want it, it even has a plastic cover to keep it dry in the monsoon! Super. Whether it will arrive in time is another thing.... hmph.
So I have done no PhD work today - as expected. And now I am just really tired and grumpy from another day packing boxes, and to be honest, DB hasn't done any packing yet! ANY!! We have two days before we have to move everything out (Weds). I am very anxious and although I know I shouldn't worry for him and should mind my own business I know him and know he will find out he has run out of time. It is like he was born without the natural inner-timer that makes people aware of how much time something would take to do. It stresses me out because I can foresee the disaster but can't say anything because then I am being annoying. Ug!!
Anyway. I am really really hungry. I haven't stopped working today, from 11am till now so probably burnt a lot of calories. I am, ironically, really keen for a yummy takeaway curry! With samosa and dhal and rice and chana masala! I want! I haven't had a curry takeaway for weeks. And DB did in cornwall, and has now told me that we aren't to have any curries until India. But I don't want an Indian curry!! I want an English-Indian curry!!!! Hehe.
Ok, I am blathering. Off to make pasta.
x J
Hopefully my laptop rucksack malarky has been sorted out... I so hope so! I really, really want it, it even has a plastic cover to keep it dry in the monsoon! Super. Whether it will arrive in time is another thing.... hmph.
So I have done no PhD work today - as expected. And now I am just really tired and grumpy from another day packing boxes, and to be honest, DB hasn't done any packing yet! ANY!! We have two days before we have to move everything out (Weds). I am very anxious and although I know I shouldn't worry for him and should mind my own business I know him and know he will find out he has run out of time. It is like he was born without the natural inner-timer that makes people aware of how much time something would take to do. It stresses me out because I can foresee the disaster but can't say anything because then I am being annoying. Ug!!
Anyway. I am really really hungry. I haven't stopped working today, from 11am till now so probably burnt a lot of calories. I am, ironically, really keen for a yummy takeaway curry! With samosa and dhal and rice and chana masala! I want! I haven't had a curry takeaway for weeks. And DB did in cornwall, and has now told me that we aren't to have any curries until India. But I don't want an Indian curry!! I want an English-Indian curry!!!! Hehe.
Ok, I am blathering. Off to make pasta.
x J
Frazzled
Grrr. I am soooooooooooooooo annoyed! I was sat here, happily waiting for the post thinking 'oooh! my laptop rucksack-cum-travelbag will be here later! Then I can start to pack my things into it to go away!' Until, that is, I get an email today asking for payment for it. GRRRR I already paid!
I already darned paid, I chased them to pay, I emailed and said 'Hi! Please, please can I pay because I go away in just over a week and would like it posted asap! What is the best way?!' 'Well,' they say, 'the best way would be direct to our bank rather than paypal. So I did, like a thoughtless muggins, because they said that if I paid through paypal because I am not verified enough I would have to wait for a while. So now they say they want payment, I send them info saying I have paid and know they haven't posted it yet. And I have no paypal protection. They could be anyone. How stupid! Grrr. I am sure it is fine but am worried it won't get to me in time and I shall leave £20 out of pocket, with no travelbag and it will come to a house that no one lives in. So I have lost out twice. I am sooooo angry.
Other than that though, I have finished my room and am off to the bedroom now! I thought I would check my emails first, just have a rest and instead am fuming! and frustrated!
Oh well.
DB said last night that he was going to start packing today. PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!
No work for me today yet. Maybe later. I can work in the hotel in town, can work in TN, can work all the time really. I do wish that I had a good book about how to do fieldwork though. Not a methods book, a nice advice one on what to look for and how to go about things. That would be lovely. DB is going to town this week, maybe I shall see if I can't pop into the library and get something. Although I shan't be able to return it will I?! Hmm. Silly me.
I am worried! Oh well, normal service resumed then... Am quite happy though. Worried and happy.
Packing awaits!
Laters y'all!!
x J
I already darned paid, I chased them to pay, I emailed and said 'Hi! Please, please can I pay because I go away in just over a week and would like it posted asap! What is the best way?!' 'Well,' they say, 'the best way would be direct to our bank rather than paypal. So I did, like a thoughtless muggins, because they said that if I paid through paypal because I am not verified enough I would have to wait for a while. So now they say they want payment, I send them info saying I have paid and know they haven't posted it yet. And I have no paypal protection. They could be anyone. How stupid! Grrr. I am sure it is fine but am worried it won't get to me in time and I shall leave £20 out of pocket, with no travelbag and it will come to a house that no one lives in. So I have lost out twice. I am sooooo angry.
Other than that though, I have finished my room and am off to the bedroom now! I thought I would check my emails first, just have a rest and instead am fuming! and frustrated!
Oh well.
DB said last night that he was going to start packing today. PHEW!!!!!!!!!!!
No work for me today yet. Maybe later. I can work in the hotel in town, can work in TN, can work all the time really. I do wish that I had a good book about how to do fieldwork though. Not a methods book, a nice advice one on what to look for and how to go about things. That would be lovely. DB is going to town this week, maybe I shall see if I can't pop into the library and get something. Although I shan't be able to return it will I?! Hmm. Silly me.
I am worried! Oh well, normal service resumed then... Am quite happy though. Worried and happy.
Packing awaits!
Laters y'all!!
x J
Sunday 19 October 2008
Blackpool!
Ahhh! I have had the loveliest weekend! We were late for the Boosh due to vile roads, and fell out in the car because, again, DB was late finishing up and I was cross at his lack of organisation. Who is late to their own Birthday surprise?!!!!??!!
Anyway, we got there and had a laugh and the tension went promptly. We had such a fun time bumbling around Blackpool. It is the strangest place, with people dressed up for clubbing, drunk in pubs at lunchtime! And lapdancing clubs and nightclubs open in the middle of the day. Curious. Too many of the men were total letches. But miraculously last night we found a quite nice bar in town and settled in for the evening away from the stags. Ahh walking around and eating in cafes and going on some rides was great fun and really relaxing. Today is tense because we have such a hectic few days in front of us and are quite hungover. I am chilling at the moment with a view to going up and cleaning my office soon... Who knows if I will get round to it. I may skive today and do it and the bedroom tomorrow... Then the bathroom and kitchen on Tues, and the kitchen again on Weds and taking stuff into storage on Weds too. Weds eve and Thurs am cleaning... And Thurs pm we move out! How it will happen I can't imagine... I have work to read in the evenings too. And Tamil to learn. So I am so busy that maybe I should chill today and store my energies for a final blitzing few days. It's under control really.
Had a total nightmare earlier about the research. How on earth am I going to do it? How am I going to find out anything? Enough? HOW?!! I am properly scared. I have to make all these contacts and am quite a shy person. And I am not a badger-er either. The information will not come to me, I will need to seek it out. What if I spend three months looking in the wrong places?!!! What will I do if I come back and know nothing? Or come back and my information isn't credible because I neglected to do it 'professionally'? I am not sure what professional is. I do feel like I am making it up to an extent; I wonder how much this is usual, and part of the research apprenticeship that is a PhD, and how much is ignorance. Grrr. I don't have enough time. I feel that I read and everything tells me the same stuff so think I must have covered a lot of bases. But then I think I am trying to control something that is by defnition, a mystery, that needs to be researched. I suppose I have to have faith that on some level the research will guide me, and I it. I just have to be vigilant and keep thinking about it...
I just don't know! I need a PhD cuddle methinks. I must seek out a reassuring person! Hmm. I don't know any. Arse.
x J
Anyway, we got there and had a laugh and the tension went promptly. We had such a fun time bumbling around Blackpool. It is the strangest place, with people dressed up for clubbing, drunk in pubs at lunchtime! And lapdancing clubs and nightclubs open in the middle of the day. Curious. Too many of the men were total letches. But miraculously last night we found a quite nice bar in town and settled in for the evening away from the stags. Ahh walking around and eating in cafes and going on some rides was great fun and really relaxing. Today is tense because we have such a hectic few days in front of us and are quite hungover. I am chilling at the moment with a view to going up and cleaning my office soon... Who knows if I will get round to it. I may skive today and do it and the bedroom tomorrow... Then the bathroom and kitchen on Tues, and the kitchen again on Weds and taking stuff into storage on Weds too. Weds eve and Thurs am cleaning... And Thurs pm we move out! How it will happen I can't imagine... I have work to read in the evenings too. And Tamil to learn. So I am so busy that maybe I should chill today and store my energies for a final blitzing few days. It's under control really.
Had a total nightmare earlier about the research. How on earth am I going to do it? How am I going to find out anything? Enough? HOW?!! I am properly scared. I have to make all these contacts and am quite a shy person. And I am not a badger-er either. The information will not come to me, I will need to seek it out. What if I spend three months looking in the wrong places?!!! What will I do if I come back and know nothing? Or come back and my information isn't credible because I neglected to do it 'professionally'? I am not sure what professional is. I do feel like I am making it up to an extent; I wonder how much this is usual, and part of the research apprenticeship that is a PhD, and how much is ignorance. Grrr. I don't have enough time. I feel that I read and everything tells me the same stuff so think I must have covered a lot of bases. But then I think I am trying to control something that is by defnition, a mystery, that needs to be researched. I suppose I have to have faith that on some level the research will guide me, and I it. I just have to be vigilant and keep thinking about it...
I just don't know! I need a PhD cuddle methinks. I must seek out a reassuring person! Hmm. I don't know any. Arse.
x J
Friday 17 October 2008
Up and down up and down
Wow I am confused! I am very worried and not very clever today! DB came back at about 3am and is lovely to have him around but I think having the house to myself to talk and think out loud helped me to concentrate and not freak out about stuff. Now I am just muttering and perplexed.
I bought our malarone anti-malarials today - £90 for two prescriptions for about two weeks!! WHAT?!! I handed over the cash and my heart plumetted. I am seriously running out of cash and can't bear having to scrimp on DBs beeday. I can't believe it's tomorrow! I can't actually even believe it's Friday, let alone mighty boosh night, let alone a weekend off - away - in Blackpool! Nuts! Can't wait! Am not organised. I think that's because I have spent the morning out and about doing jobs. I am on first names terms with the team at the pharmacy down the road now. I kid you not! AND they know the drill with writing out a little chit for my expenses claims (yes, yes ESRC are paying and I shouldn't complain about being brassic but still I have to fork out first!!) It was funny. They said I must be quite stressed with it all. And the lady in the bank was all excited for us but said 'oooh, you will miss your family?' and I said 'oh yes' and nearly started crying. I will miss them!
I am VERY excited though. Very, very, very.
I am waiting for my dictaphone today! Dictaphone! and my special waterproof, lightweight laptop rucksack! The I shall be totally kitted out for Inja. I will feel like a total idjit using my dictaphone to start with. A bit pretentious like 'oooh! Who's playing researcher then?!!' Hehe. Another PhD initiation eh? In a few weeks time I will be brandishing it about like no-ones business I am sure.
I went to the tip this morning (no, really, I did. Amazing I know, yes, I did) and the tip-man wanted to buy my car!!!! Which is so odd because we are taking it to auction next week because we don't have the time or energy to try and sell it privately. And this random man asks to buy it! Sadly, I am not in charge of the car and had no quote to give him but will get DB to go back. what a coincidence!
I had better start dismantling my table and cleaning up the walls in my office (how did I get coffee everywhere?!! And blu-tac stains...)
We are off at four. I am torturing myself with thoughts about doing the Big One (the massive rollercoaster). I am terrified of dying on rollercoasters and think my harness is never done up and will die. the actual ride itself is always cool, it's just the thought of not being strapped in. Once, on the oblivion ride at Alton Towers (vertical drop, face down) we were cranking our way up (DB made me go on btw - I had been on it before and did not like it) and it stopped. There we were, hovering, and one of the seats wasn't done up. It wasn't being used, but it scared the life out of me. But also made me feel better that the ride would automatically stop if it was broken. Bizarrely I always feel safest on the hanging rollercoaster. I LOVE them. I have no problem with them, I feel very safe. It's the bar accross the knees situ I don't like. Ug.
DB keeps asking if we are going to this place called flamingoland. Hmmm, somewhere camp, brightly coloured, with a zoo and rollercoasters?! So close but yet so far!
x J
I bought our malarone anti-malarials today - £90 for two prescriptions for about two weeks!! WHAT?!! I handed over the cash and my heart plumetted. I am seriously running out of cash and can't bear having to scrimp on DBs beeday. I can't believe it's tomorrow! I can't actually even believe it's Friday, let alone mighty boosh night, let alone a weekend off - away - in Blackpool! Nuts! Can't wait! Am not organised. I think that's because I have spent the morning out and about doing jobs. I am on first names terms with the team at the pharmacy down the road now. I kid you not! AND they know the drill with writing out a little chit for my expenses claims (yes, yes ESRC are paying and I shouldn't complain about being brassic but still I have to fork out first!!) It was funny. They said I must be quite stressed with it all. And the lady in the bank was all excited for us but said 'oooh, you will miss your family?' and I said 'oh yes' and nearly started crying. I will miss them!
I am VERY excited though. Very, very, very.
I am waiting for my dictaphone today! Dictaphone! and my special waterproof, lightweight laptop rucksack! The I shall be totally kitted out for Inja. I will feel like a total idjit using my dictaphone to start with. A bit pretentious like 'oooh! Who's playing researcher then?!!' Hehe. Another PhD initiation eh? In a few weeks time I will be brandishing it about like no-ones business I am sure.
I went to the tip this morning (no, really, I did. Amazing I know, yes, I did) and the tip-man wanted to buy my car!!!! Which is so odd because we are taking it to auction next week because we don't have the time or energy to try and sell it privately. And this random man asks to buy it! Sadly, I am not in charge of the car and had no quote to give him but will get DB to go back. what a coincidence!
I had better start dismantling my table and cleaning up the walls in my office (how did I get coffee everywhere?!! And blu-tac stains...)
We are off at four. I am torturing myself with thoughts about doing the Big One (the massive rollercoaster). I am terrified of dying on rollercoasters and think my harness is never done up and will die. the actual ride itself is always cool, it's just the thought of not being strapped in. Once, on the oblivion ride at Alton Towers (vertical drop, face down) we were cranking our way up (DB made me go on btw - I had been on it before and did not like it) and it stopped. There we were, hovering, and one of the seats wasn't done up. It wasn't being used, but it scared the life out of me. But also made me feel better that the ride would automatically stop if it was broken. Bizarrely I always feel safest on the hanging rollercoaster. I LOVE them. I have no problem with them, I feel very safe. It's the bar accross the knees situ I don't like. Ug.
DB keeps asking if we are going to this place called flamingoland. Hmmm, somewhere camp, brightly coloured, with a zoo and rollercoasters?! So close but yet so far!
x J
Thursday 16 October 2008
Wooo!
Ah today has been a good day! I tried to do some work and it wasn't really happening because I kept being distracted by my messy room. SO I gave up and now it is my room no more!! No more!
It is blank. Nothing on the walls, on the floor nothing. It took me four hours! It is so strange because I do have a little pile of things that I want to take to TN with me in the corner. Some pens and my diary and the work I want to take (hardly anything! Am most pleased) and it is like a teeny, distilled, very quiet fraction of my big, noisy life... I have a pile like this in the bedroom too of clothes that I want to take, and bedding etc. And downstairs I have a little 'outdoors' pile from packing my shoes and coats etc - I have a couple of pairs of shoes and an umbrella etc. So these quiet little piles are cropping up and all of a sudden, without making a list, I am seeing what my life in TN is going to consist of.
I am feeling very cleansed! I have thrown away, finally, my notes from my MA in 2005! Finally I have realised that notes on 'islamic representations in the West' are of no use any more. I have thrown away old novelty pens that I have kept for toooo long for sentimental value, thrown away old pen pots and naff erasers that have existed for what purpose I know not.
Wonderful.
Tomorrow I am back to the tip with my desktop computer (see pic!) that hasn't worked for months, a desk (not my main desk, oh no) and the shelf downstairs that has fallen apart. Tomorrow I will take apart the main desk in my room and then clean down the walls. then, this room is complete! I shall then move on to the bedroom!
DB says he is coming back tonight instead of tomorrow so he can be back in definite time for our 'adventure' tomorrow eve. I am pleased! This means I will have his car for the tip tomorrow. Does mean I have to remember to pack his pressies tonight and hide them...
I am so excitable! Oh, also, I found a lot of notes and articles about my work that I should revisit... probably before I go... but I have so much to read! If I think about it too much then I will start fretting that I am not a very good PhD student and that all others would be far, far, FAR more well read than me before they head off. And that is very destructive. No point in those thoughts. Must be positive! It will be fine....
help!
x J
It is blank. Nothing on the walls, on the floor nothing. It took me four hours! It is so strange because I do have a little pile of things that I want to take to TN with me in the corner. Some pens and my diary and the work I want to take (hardly anything! Am most pleased) and it is like a teeny, distilled, very quiet fraction of my big, noisy life... I have a pile like this in the bedroom too of clothes that I want to take, and bedding etc. And downstairs I have a little 'outdoors' pile from packing my shoes and coats etc - I have a couple of pairs of shoes and an umbrella etc. So these quiet little piles are cropping up and all of a sudden, without making a list, I am seeing what my life in TN is going to consist of.
I am feeling very cleansed! I have thrown away, finally, my notes from my MA in 2005! Finally I have realised that notes on 'islamic representations in the West' are of no use any more. I have thrown away old novelty pens that I have kept for toooo long for sentimental value, thrown away old pen pots and naff erasers that have existed for what purpose I know not.
Wonderful.
Tomorrow I am back to the tip with my desktop computer (see pic!) that hasn't worked for months, a desk (not my main desk, oh no) and the shelf downstairs that has fallen apart. Tomorrow I will take apart the main desk in my room and then clean down the walls. then, this room is complete! I shall then move on to the bedroom!
DB says he is coming back tonight instead of tomorrow so he can be back in definite time for our 'adventure' tomorrow eve. I am pleased! This means I will have his car for the tip tomorrow. Does mean I have to remember to pack his pressies tonight and hide them...
I am so excitable! Oh, also, I found a lot of notes and articles about my work that I should revisit... probably before I go... but I have so much to read! If I think about it too much then I will start fretting that I am not a very good PhD student and that all others would be far, far, FAR more well read than me before they head off. And that is very destructive. No point in those thoughts. Must be positive! It will be fine....
help!
x J
Better now
Yaya! Today I feel so much better! So much better. I fell asleep after watching some Flight of the Conchords and chuckling away. It is the best comedy ever.
My friends have been badgering me to 'get out of the house' and go out dancing. I think I would dance like a very stressed, sexually repressed bear. No dancing for me. I declined and explained that I am in a world rather like exam world, where you need to knuckle down and focus on a particular date and be really square, and then when it's done you are free! Freeeeee! and can party and dance for days and days. This is how I feel.
The sun is shining this morning. Maybe this has cheered my mood. Ooh, I looked at the weather in TN and wowsers! It is sketchy. Massive rain, massive thunderstorms, 80+% humidity and - get this - 32degrees!! Arg! So, hot, hot and very wet. Don't think I will be needing two lots of white ballet pumps... Am so glad I looked before I went packing for an imaginary warm, breezy tropical winterland. Idiot!
Tomorrow is party night! Woo! Today I am going to skim through these articles on credit and suchlike. Then I will work out how they are relevant for my work and how they may direct it (who I am talking to etc). My methodology is done as much as it can be, now it is linking the methodology to the IR context and my research in TN. I didn't think about that - I thought my methodology did that. My Sup drew me back though and said I seemed to know enough about methodology etc and would be fine, but couldn't talk to everyone about everything. So I need to be selective about who I talk to, what impression it is that I get in TN. And this needs to be justified. So if we go for the political economy idea then I will focus on say three or four elements, e.g. Caste, property, livelihoods, fisherfolk community, and then interview people in these sections and get an in-depth case study of the effect of the aid-effort on political economy (or vice versa). Which is pretty exciting!
Then, after lunch I will put all the papers that I like/need in one pile and pack the rest. By the end of today my room shall be my room no more!
We move a week today!
x J
My friends have been badgering me to 'get out of the house' and go out dancing. I think I would dance like a very stressed, sexually repressed bear. No dancing for me. I declined and explained that I am in a world rather like exam world, where you need to knuckle down and focus on a particular date and be really square, and then when it's done you are free! Freeeeee! and can party and dance for days and days. This is how I feel.
The sun is shining this morning. Maybe this has cheered my mood. Ooh, I looked at the weather in TN and wowsers! It is sketchy. Massive rain, massive thunderstorms, 80+% humidity and - get this - 32degrees!! Arg! So, hot, hot and very wet. Don't think I will be needing two lots of white ballet pumps... Am so glad I looked before I went packing for an imaginary warm, breezy tropical winterland. Idiot!
Tomorrow is party night! Woo! Today I am going to skim through these articles on credit and suchlike. Then I will work out how they are relevant for my work and how they may direct it (who I am talking to etc). My methodology is done as much as it can be, now it is linking the methodology to the IR context and my research in TN. I didn't think about that - I thought my methodology did that. My Sup drew me back though and said I seemed to know enough about methodology etc and would be fine, but couldn't talk to everyone about everything. So I need to be selective about who I talk to, what impression it is that I get in TN. And this needs to be justified. So if we go for the political economy idea then I will focus on say three or four elements, e.g. Caste, property, livelihoods, fisherfolk community, and then interview people in these sections and get an in-depth case study of the effect of the aid-effort on political economy (or vice versa). Which is pretty exciting!
Then, after lunch I will put all the papers that I like/need in one pile and pack the rest. By the end of today my room shall be my room no more!
We move a week today!
x J
Wednesday 15 October 2008
What a difference a day makes...!
Ahhh. I am feeling sooooo much better. So much better in fact that I ate lunch. Ate lunch! Woot.
Becaaaaauuuuuse...
* I have found out my tix for mighty boosh will be fine, as I thought anyway.
* My re-designed mug for my friend's beeday is all done and looks ace.
* My mossie net and other towel should be here tomorrow.
* I haven't and shan't buy anything more on tinternet so have changed addresses on everything. Well, one bank wouldn't let me but that probably has something to do with me letting them know I am moving to india, then withdrawing £200 and transferring nearly £2000 today. And then trying to change the contact details... may all look a bit suss...!!! I hope it isn't traumatic and shall drop in to the branch tomorrow.
AND....
we have visas! VISAS! After how long and how much hassle?!! All done and in DB's cute little paw.
WOOT!
I have to confess to a lack of concentration so far today but have managed to type up the notes from my meeting yesterday with my Sup. I am now going to try and read one of the articles my sup sent me. I wish I could print it off.
Ah, I am feeling so much better. Soooooo. Much. Better.
Still feel a bit homesick though. How silly is that?! I am at home supposedly, for a start. I had a little card from my sis this morning and it made me all sad. Curious. I would say I don't imagine many intrepid fieldworkers being such babies but then my friend is off to Columbia in a couple of weeks too and she says she is scared. And she is older and wiser and more experienced than I. Although I am going with DB... I am never very grown up.
Speaking of which, I managed to get flapjack in my eye earlier.
As they say in America, 'go figure'.
x J
Becaaaaauuuuuse...
* I have found out my tix for mighty boosh will be fine, as I thought anyway.
* My re-designed mug for my friend's beeday is all done and looks ace.
* My mossie net and other towel should be here tomorrow.
* I haven't and shan't buy anything more on tinternet so have changed addresses on everything. Well, one bank wouldn't let me but that probably has something to do with me letting them know I am moving to india, then withdrawing £200 and transferring nearly £2000 today. And then trying to change the contact details... may all look a bit suss...!!! I hope it isn't traumatic and shall drop in to the branch tomorrow.
AND....
we have visas! VISAS! After how long and how much hassle?!! All done and in DB's cute little paw.
WOOT!
I have to confess to a lack of concentration so far today but have managed to type up the notes from my meeting yesterday with my Sup. I am now going to try and read one of the articles my sup sent me. I wish I could print it off.
Ah, I am feeling so much better. Soooooo. Much. Better.
Still feel a bit homesick though. How silly is that?! I am at home supposedly, for a start. I had a little card from my sis this morning and it made me all sad. Curious. I would say I don't imagine many intrepid fieldworkers being such babies but then my friend is off to Columbia in a couple of weeks too and she says she is scared. And she is older and wiser and more experienced than I. Although I am going with DB... I am never very grown up.
Speaking of which, I managed to get flapjack in my eye earlier.
As they say in America, 'go figure'.
x J
Still panicking...
I am still in a state of high stress today. Am juggling so much, mainly to do with ebay... I am waiting for stuff to arrive so sending emails saying I am going to be away, can they tell me when to expect my mossie net I have paid ( alot) for amongst other stuff. And organising standing orders for when I am away, changing address details, cancelling memberships, buying presents, eeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggg.
Well, I am buying no more! I am brassic. We have over a week to get the stuff. Twill be fine. I rang the visa place and luckily DB can pick my visa up for me so that is coolio. He is off to cornwall today so I shall be on my own-io. This won't be such a bad thing, I can work and pack and talk to myself and de-stress by having sneaky ciggies or a takeaway or whatever makes me happy and on Fri we go away. So I will have to get a lot done so we can go and relax. We are only away for a day (Sat) and DB was adamant that he didn't want to spend his beeday here (fair enough) so off, off we go.
I got the Boosh tix today! But they have the name of the guy who sold them to me on them. Which is fine I suppose, I mean anyone can buy them for anyone else can't they. But the peeps next us also have tix from him. So may look odd and they may notice. Oh well. We shall see. I get very worried about this kind of thing though. Although, I will confess that I have snuck lip balm onto a transatlantic flight of late. I hid it and sneaked it in. So not that shiny a halo after all.
This morning I have been super busy. I went to the sorting office to pick up my packages and they are fablass, and I went to Morrisons to get some boxes but there were none. I swear I saw a ton of them the other day when I went in. I am going mad. I also swear blind that once I went into the PO and there was a parrot on top of one of the computer monitors, and there was parrot poo all over the back of the counter with lots of dusty quavers that they had been feeding it. I thought it was very odd but just what they did up north (it was soon after we moved here). I went home and told DB but when I went back next time it had gone! DB says 'funnily enough'. It was there, I saw it. I am literally going mad. Maybe I dreamt it. But I didn't. I am trying to get DB to go in and ask when we leave if there was ever a parrot in there but he won't. Again, funnily enough.
Anyway, I digress. I have also paid off and closed a credit card (courtesy of my ma, not my money, oh no. Her interest rates are a lot more student friendly...) a pesky, nasty credit card. And I have been emailing and chasing up orders and working out my India and pre-India budget (the former is fabulous and latter is lacking)... and that's it really. I am now going to go and eat something I think. And then potter and get down to some reading.
My house definitely looks like we are moving now. I packed up all the ornaments and books in the living room last night, so it is now pretty bare! And all my plants are going today wnhich will make quite a difference. I have written out instructions on how to look after them. I told DB that if no one could take them not to tell me, and promptly burst into tears. I love these plants! I have nurtured them through depression and good times. New leaves and even new baby stems. One is flowering now! My christmas cactus. My first ever plant to actually flower under my care. Some even have names. To abandon them, or for them to be rejected and put on a tip fills me with sadness.
I shall think on it no more!
Ok. I better focus away from moving and get back to work or I will just fret all day and not be productive. Today I have to read three articles on political economy from my Sup and also type up and consider the meeting yesterday.
Tomorrow I shall finish my uni work and pack up my room.
I am such a ball of worry. Rubbish!
x J
Well, I am buying no more! I am brassic. We have over a week to get the stuff. Twill be fine. I rang the visa place and luckily DB can pick my visa up for me so that is coolio. He is off to cornwall today so I shall be on my own-io. This won't be such a bad thing, I can work and pack and talk to myself and de-stress by having sneaky ciggies or a takeaway or whatever makes me happy and on Fri we go away. So I will have to get a lot done so we can go and relax. We are only away for a day (Sat) and DB was adamant that he didn't want to spend his beeday here (fair enough) so off, off we go.
I got the Boosh tix today! But they have the name of the guy who sold them to me on them. Which is fine I suppose, I mean anyone can buy them for anyone else can't they. But the peeps next us also have tix from him. So may look odd and they may notice. Oh well. We shall see. I get very worried about this kind of thing though. Although, I will confess that I have snuck lip balm onto a transatlantic flight of late. I hid it and sneaked it in. So not that shiny a halo after all.
This morning I have been super busy. I went to the sorting office to pick up my packages and they are fablass, and I went to Morrisons to get some boxes but there were none. I swear I saw a ton of them the other day when I went in. I am going mad. I also swear blind that once I went into the PO and there was a parrot on top of one of the computer monitors, and there was parrot poo all over the back of the counter with lots of dusty quavers that they had been feeding it. I thought it was very odd but just what they did up north (it was soon after we moved here). I went home and told DB but when I went back next time it had gone! DB says 'funnily enough'. It was there, I saw it. I am literally going mad. Maybe I dreamt it. But I didn't. I am trying to get DB to go in and ask when we leave if there was ever a parrot in there but he won't. Again, funnily enough.
Anyway, I digress. I have also paid off and closed a credit card (courtesy of my ma, not my money, oh no. Her interest rates are a lot more student friendly...) a pesky, nasty credit card. And I have been emailing and chasing up orders and working out my India and pre-India budget (the former is fabulous and latter is lacking)... and that's it really. I am now going to go and eat something I think. And then potter and get down to some reading.
My house definitely looks like we are moving now. I packed up all the ornaments and books in the living room last night, so it is now pretty bare! And all my plants are going today wnhich will make quite a difference. I have written out instructions on how to look after them. I told DB that if no one could take them not to tell me, and promptly burst into tears. I love these plants! I have nurtured them through depression and good times. New leaves and even new baby stems. One is flowering now! My christmas cactus. My first ever plant to actually flower under my care. Some even have names. To abandon them, or for them to be rejected and put on a tip fills me with sadness.
I shall think on it no more!
Ok. I better focus away from moving and get back to work or I will just fret all day and not be productive. Today I have to read three articles on political economy from my Sup and also type up and consider the meeting yesterday.
Tomorrow I shall finish my uni work and pack up my room.
I am such a ball of worry. Rubbish!
x J
Tuesday 14 October 2008
Wake me when it's all over...
Yes, yes today I am eeyore. I am a total stressed-out grouch. I could take the sun out of anyone's day. I hate the world, and the world hates me.
My poor friend. I say one because my experience at lunch taught me that company perhaps did not ought to seek me out today. I told my friend who I was meant to be meeting at five that I just couldn't. My Sup has given me some reading to do (which didn't attach to the email, so perhaps I am off the hook tonight?!) to do with micro-credit and political economy... We were chatting and he said that I couldn't possibly expect to go away and find out everything about everything about the Tsunami in India. Which I agreed too very enthusiastically and with tremendous relief - I hadn't realised that was an issue but had been subconciously worried about it. Thank goodness for Supervisors. I really had been wondering how I was meant to find out everything about everything but then ah! he said 'how about focussing on the political economy of the post-disaster situ' which is GREAT. Because the INGOs tend to define their aid-recipients in terms of economics and economic lingo in 'livelihoods' so it makes sense. However, it is terrifying because when the project is vague and woolly it feels a lot more ad-hoc and like, 'if I know anything it will be a miracle! So what can I expect?!' but when it has a focus, then it has an actual goal and a LOT of expectation.
No me gusta.
Sooooooo tomorrow I am going to read these articles Sup has told me to read (and says I should be fine just reading them and no more. Fingers crossed they aren't enormous though) and will use them to hone down what I want to find out in TN and who I will aim to talk to in the first place. This means instead of talking to all the sub-groups I can think of I just need to target three or four, and within these I can cross reference other groups e.g. 'women' or 'Caste' etc. It is fabulous. It creates a focus but once again reminds me of how much I have to learn. It also means that my other chapters will need to be redone with a similar focus. It also means I have a whole new literature genre to get stuck into when I get back, a whole new language to learn and a whole new PhD to do.
I don't think it will *ever* end.
Maybe, instead of thinking about it in terms of having more to do, I should think of it more in terms of having a clearer path and less time spent going down the wrong one. I am honing in on my craft. Does that read as unenthusiastically as I feel?!!
I have a really horrible feeling that this experience is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better! In fact I know it. Now I am starting to get why people later into their PhD are so stressed. I can't believe how much work I have to do!
Good job I am bu*gering off really.
So, yes, I let my five o' clock friend off the hook and invited him round for a pint later in the week when I am not so miserable and stressed and have so much blinkin' work to do. I have been so bad that I almost got teary-eyed in front of my sup. Not quite, but I felt it coming. And I thought to go to superdrug and get some travel padlocks I saw in there the other week and almost had a panic attack. Really; I got very short of breath and hot and bothered so left pronto. And came home. Just a big ball of worry today. Tomorrow, I have no doubt, will be better. Each day will be better from now. I think today was a crux day - seeing my Sup and everything.
I bought us a giant pizza and some chippies for tea for comfort food. Normally we would probably have a glass of wine tonight but all booze is banned excepting Saturday (DB's beeday). What would we talk about anyway? Moving?! Rubbish.
Am off. Going to put on some washing and maybe think about packing or something. Or just lie down in the dark and hum to myself.
x J
My poor friend. I say one because my experience at lunch taught me that company perhaps did not ought to seek me out today. I told my friend who I was meant to be meeting at five that I just couldn't. My Sup has given me some reading to do (which didn't attach to the email, so perhaps I am off the hook tonight?!) to do with micro-credit and political economy... We were chatting and he said that I couldn't possibly expect to go away and find out everything about everything about the Tsunami in India. Which I agreed too very enthusiastically and with tremendous relief - I hadn't realised that was an issue but had been subconciously worried about it. Thank goodness for Supervisors. I really had been wondering how I was meant to find out everything about everything but then ah! he said 'how about focussing on the political economy of the post-disaster situ' which is GREAT. Because the INGOs tend to define their aid-recipients in terms of economics and economic lingo in 'livelihoods' so it makes sense. However, it is terrifying because when the project is vague and woolly it feels a lot more ad-hoc and like, 'if I know anything it will be a miracle! So what can I expect?!' but when it has a focus, then it has an actual goal and a LOT of expectation.
No me gusta.
Sooooooo tomorrow I am going to read these articles Sup has told me to read (and says I should be fine just reading them and no more. Fingers crossed they aren't enormous though) and will use them to hone down what I want to find out in TN and who I will aim to talk to in the first place. This means instead of talking to all the sub-groups I can think of I just need to target three or four, and within these I can cross reference other groups e.g. 'women' or 'Caste' etc. It is fabulous. It creates a focus but once again reminds me of how much I have to learn. It also means that my other chapters will need to be redone with a similar focus. It also means I have a whole new literature genre to get stuck into when I get back, a whole new language to learn and a whole new PhD to do.
I don't think it will *ever* end.
Maybe, instead of thinking about it in terms of having more to do, I should think of it more in terms of having a clearer path and less time spent going down the wrong one. I am honing in on my craft. Does that read as unenthusiastically as I feel?!!
I have a really horrible feeling that this experience is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better! In fact I know it. Now I am starting to get why people later into their PhD are so stressed. I can't believe how much work I have to do!
Good job I am bu*gering off really.
So, yes, I let my five o' clock friend off the hook and invited him round for a pint later in the week when I am not so miserable and stressed and have so much blinkin' work to do. I have been so bad that I almost got teary-eyed in front of my sup. Not quite, but I felt it coming. And I thought to go to superdrug and get some travel padlocks I saw in there the other week and almost had a panic attack. Really; I got very short of breath and hot and bothered so left pronto. And came home. Just a big ball of worry today. Tomorrow, I have no doubt, will be better. Each day will be better from now. I think today was a crux day - seeing my Sup and everything.
I bought us a giant pizza and some chippies for tea for comfort food. Normally we would probably have a glass of wine tonight but all booze is banned excepting Saturday (DB's beeday). What would we talk about anyway? Moving?! Rubbish.
Am off. Going to put on some washing and maybe think about packing or something. Or just lie down in the dark and hum to myself.
x J
Stress relief...
I went down to make some toast and ended up dismantling my kitchen for packing! I now have a pile of stuff/photos/pin boards/cushions/chairs etc to be taken into storage or put into a box.
Hurray! I am starting to feel more like a house mover now.
Am still having a tantrum about having to meet my friend tonight. We aren't even bezzy mates. I wonder what his beef is?! Ahhh, I say that but he is lovely. I should stop whining. I will be home by 7.15. This isn't too late. Well, it depends on my meeting with Sup I suppose. If it is awful then I will have to come home and work and then pack whic means it is late indeed. If it is good then I shan't have to do anything. Bit of packing - which really, is sorting notes into piles.
Am wondering about whether I should actually take this laptop to India with me. How on EARTH am I going to travel around comfortably with a laptop on me. I am sure I will be terrified every time I leave my hotel room that it will get nicked. Well, if it does I have insurance right? And evething will be backed up on the internet, on a disc and on a memory card. What about going away for the weekend though? What if I get mugged, poncing about with a massive laptop ricksack?
Eek. I think I may be suffering a case of 'tourist to the Occidental' blues. I went travelling all over south east asia and never had anything robbed. so why, all of a sudden, would I be robbed blind now? And why aren't I worried about my bank cards/passport etc - just my laptop?
Curious, focussed fretting.
Idjit.
x J
Hurray! I am starting to feel more like a house mover now.
Am still having a tantrum about having to meet my friend tonight. We aren't even bezzy mates. I wonder what his beef is?! Ahhh, I say that but he is lovely. I should stop whining. I will be home by 7.15. This isn't too late. Well, it depends on my meeting with Sup I suppose. If it is awful then I will have to come home and work and then pack whic means it is late indeed. If it is good then I shan't have to do anything. Bit of packing - which really, is sorting notes into piles.
Am wondering about whether I should actually take this laptop to India with me. How on EARTH am I going to travel around comfortably with a laptop on me. I am sure I will be terrified every time I leave my hotel room that it will get nicked. Well, if it does I have insurance right? And evething will be backed up on the internet, on a disc and on a memory card. What about going away for the weekend though? What if I get mugged, poncing about with a massive laptop ricksack?
Eek. I think I may be suffering a case of 'tourist to the Occidental' blues. I went travelling all over south east asia and never had anything robbed. so why, all of a sudden, would I be robbed blind now? And why aren't I worried about my bank cards/passport etc - just my laptop?
Curious, focussed fretting.
Idjit.
x J
Why's it all so complicated?!
Gah I feel stressed! I don't know why really, apart from my imagination is going into overdrive.
I bought some mighty boosh tix last night (yay!) and am on tenterhooks until they arrive (tomorrow). The seller hasn't emailed me to say thanks or that they will be posted or 'owt, and £75 is a lot of money to have in the ether.
I have to go to uni all day because my mate badgered me to hang about until 5pm so he can see me for a goodbye drink. Which is really sweet and I am flattered, but really, I should be home by then and packing, not sitting in town drinking beer. I did tell him but he wouldn't have any of it. Now I am just unhappy and stressed that I can't come home, plus the trains only go every hour after five so will be even later. DB is going to cornwall tomorrow and I need to pack my room for him to take my work stuff to his ma's instead of it going in storage where I shan't see any of it until april. And this just isn't going to happen. Grrrrrrrrrr. Why can't I just come home! Actually, I have to go to uni on Tues because there is a meeting with the head of research from Oxfam (wow) on poverty and development so better go along. But it is two days before we leave! Well, the day before our last day. I really did ought to go though, it is an amazing opportunity. I am sure DB can hold the fort for a few hours... I will text him now and tell him (my mate, not DB) that I cannot wait around and will see him tues! No, it won't work, he is in mozambique from this weekend so it *must* be tonight. Arg! WHYYYYY!
And I have bought a rucksack laptop bag from ebay and they say they need bank transfer so have to wait for them to give me details. when I could just pay right now with paypal. Everything is in a rush in my head becasue we move out in just over a week and I can't be taking parcels when I don't live here!!!! This is my last purchase though. I have everything then! Woot.
And I have to return a bag I bought for my sis for her b'day but I lost the receipt! I was looking after it as well - is what happens when you're packing though. everything is up for grabs!
Grrr. So I am stressy.
I need to think.
maybe I should have some breakfast. I am too bla to languish over toast.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
xJ
I bought some mighty boosh tix last night (yay!) and am on tenterhooks until they arrive (tomorrow). The seller hasn't emailed me to say thanks or that they will be posted or 'owt, and £75 is a lot of money to have in the ether.
I have to go to uni all day because my mate badgered me to hang about until 5pm so he can see me for a goodbye drink. Which is really sweet and I am flattered, but really, I should be home by then and packing, not sitting in town drinking beer. I did tell him but he wouldn't have any of it. Now I am just unhappy and stressed that I can't come home, plus the trains only go every hour after five so will be even later. DB is going to cornwall tomorrow and I need to pack my room for him to take my work stuff to his ma's instead of it going in storage where I shan't see any of it until april. And this just isn't going to happen. Grrrrrrrrrr. Why can't I just come home! Actually, I have to go to uni on Tues because there is a meeting with the head of research from Oxfam (wow) on poverty and development so better go along. But it is two days before we leave! Well, the day before our last day. I really did ought to go though, it is an amazing opportunity. I am sure DB can hold the fort for a few hours... I will text him now and tell him (my mate, not DB) that I cannot wait around and will see him tues! No, it won't work, he is in mozambique from this weekend so it *must* be tonight. Arg! WHYYYYY!
And I have bought a rucksack laptop bag from ebay and they say they need bank transfer so have to wait for them to give me details. when I could just pay right now with paypal. Everything is in a rush in my head becasue we move out in just over a week and I can't be taking parcels when I don't live here!!!! This is my last purchase though. I have everything then! Woot.
And I have to return a bag I bought for my sis for her b'day but I lost the receipt! I was looking after it as well - is what happens when you're packing though. everything is up for grabs!
Grrr. So I am stressy.
I need to think.
maybe I should have some breakfast. I am too bla to languish over toast.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
xJ
Monday 13 October 2008
Ooh 'er
Today has been a very long, very changeable day. But ultimately productive. Hoorah.
This morning I was really lacking in concentration and very high in stress so spent a lot of time moving and looking under things and forgetting why. Then I managed to cancel my direct debits and shift around some bank info, did a lot of studying of mighty boosh tix (scary business auctions) and accommodation... Then somehow, somewhere I ended up doing a lot of organising of papers and actually working. Finally I have finished the pile of most important notes that I needed to read before going to TN, and condense into smaller notes to guide me while I am there. I have now found out what to do for my interviews etc and focussed a little more on what I intend to achieve while I am there. This means I can take the library books I have back with me. I don't think learning much more about case study design or best practice etc etc will help much more. I have plenty of uni notes on ethics and the rest I shall have to make up as I go along! Twill be fine. So tomorrow will be an unexpectedly pleasing day, getting rid of the books. That way, with temptation to overprepare out of the way, I can concentrate on the info I do have left with a view to finishing on Thursday! Woo!
Also, I am meeting a uni friend tomorrow at 5 for a drink and chat before I skip town, so will spend the time between my Sup meeting and meeting him doing my last shopping bits for TN. Tomorrow is definitely a milestone day.
Exciting!
x J
This morning I was really lacking in concentration and very high in stress so spent a lot of time moving and looking under things and forgetting why. Then I managed to cancel my direct debits and shift around some bank info, did a lot of studying of mighty boosh tix (scary business auctions) and accommodation... Then somehow, somewhere I ended up doing a lot of organising of papers and actually working. Finally I have finished the pile of most important notes that I needed to read before going to TN, and condense into smaller notes to guide me while I am there. I have now found out what to do for my interviews etc and focussed a little more on what I intend to achieve while I am there. This means I can take the library books I have back with me. I don't think learning much more about case study design or best practice etc etc will help much more. I have plenty of uni notes on ethics and the rest I shall have to make up as I go along! Twill be fine. So tomorrow will be an unexpectedly pleasing day, getting rid of the books. That way, with temptation to overprepare out of the way, I can concentrate on the info I do have left with a view to finishing on Thursday! Woo!
Also, I am meeting a uni friend tomorrow at 5 for a drink and chat before I skip town, so will spend the time between my Sup meeting and meeting him doing my last shopping bits for TN. Tomorrow is definitely a milestone day.
Exciting!
x J
Excited, scared, worried. Usual Monday then.
We are flying out two weeks tomorrow! I am reaching and passing moving-out milestones with terrifying speed. We have reached and passed the visa date... the last supper with the folks... I am meeting my Sup for the last time tomorrow and saying bye to my Uni friends... I am cancelling my direct debits today... We are getting storage today too so we can start packing-up and shipping out. No evening will be mine again. Arg.
My head is in a bit of a flummox today. This blog will see me right by the end of it though.
I have had a brainwave for DB's beeday... We are going to see the the Mighty Boosh in Blackpool the night before, and stay over for that night and the sat night (his actual beeday) we will hang around being scared and awed by the bizarre mystery that is the land of Blackpool. We haven't been before and I don't like English seaside stuff really but think actually it will be fun - and a WORLD away from packing, and India and work and stress. It is a busy ol' place so think it will actually be really cool. And DB would wet himself at seeing the mighty boosh. I am perusing ticket master and ebay and should have some tix by the end of the day. Also, because there is so much accomodation the prices are fairly competitve so I can get two nights B and B for the price of one nice hotel night in York (original plan). Hurray!
Ah, my skin has been a mess recently (dry and stressy and poisoned by that Ultra glow rubbish which is just evil actually) and my ma is a beauty person so knows what is what and bought me some Karin Herzog gubbins for my face and eyes... My face is just scrumptious and moisturised and yummy. Truly, some products are so worth the money. Or my ma's anyway... (Just thought I would say because I do keep being sidetracked by needing to feel my cheek. I am in lust with my own cheek!)
Ok ok, today. Focus.
I am staying indoors today. I am only able to do this so much because of India and moving. But next year when I am back I am going to become much more part of the Uni faculty and do GTA work (possibly even for free for my Sup's class if he fancies) and see my friends much more and get maybe two evening hobbies. I am going to be OUT! But back to today... (I think we can see already how low my concentration levels are to be today) I am going to go through my old Tamil notes. I don't know if I will be able to learn new stuff today but will work on that until about 11. Then I shall start reading a textbook about the practical considerations of doing research methinks. Or actually, I will go through my uni notes from my MRes lectures and then start reading larger, longer chapters. I need a gist for now so I can pretend to know what I am about in TN. I do wonder how much I could possibly know now. I am normally one to organise and plan to death but maybe I am maturing in this work and realising that sometimes too much planning and organising is a *bad* thing. I can organise a lot when I am there. I just have to have notes with me to refer to re: protocol, or to make me feel better if I think I am doing it wrong. Otherwise maybe a gist is good, and when there I can go with the flow... Advice gratefully accepted!!
So that's my day. Oh, I will cancel my gym membership and lovefilm too. I would have done this but for my stupid fear of the phone. Why, and where did this come from?! What stupidity is this when a phone is worrying?! Lordy.
I think DB is going to cornwall on Weds. This will be ace and will get each other out of our respective hair until his beeday. I can pack and chat to myself and not get on his nerves. He can see his friends and get stressy issues off his chest without me feeling like he is making me nervous about whether he will be ready for Inja or not. So it is a grand plan. I just wish he could go for longer!
Ah! I ordered some handmade jewellery for my friend's 30th off the internet and it arrived and it is gorgeous. Just gorgeous. And the lady was lovely - is Lisa's Handmade Jewellery if anyone, you know, needs some handmade jewellery. As you do. www.lisasjewels.co.uk
I feel sad I am going to be away for chrimbly. I am too old probably for such homesickness.
Right! Onwards to the Tamil!
x J
My head is in a bit of a flummox today. This blog will see me right by the end of it though.
I have had a brainwave for DB's beeday... We are going to see the the Mighty Boosh in Blackpool the night before, and stay over for that night and the sat night (his actual beeday) we will hang around being scared and awed by the bizarre mystery that is the land of Blackpool. We haven't been before and I don't like English seaside stuff really but think actually it will be fun - and a WORLD away from packing, and India and work and stress. It is a busy ol' place so think it will actually be really cool. And DB would wet himself at seeing the mighty boosh. I am perusing ticket master and ebay and should have some tix by the end of the day. Also, because there is so much accomodation the prices are fairly competitve so I can get two nights B and B for the price of one nice hotel night in York (original plan). Hurray!
Ah, my skin has been a mess recently (dry and stressy and poisoned by that Ultra glow rubbish which is just evil actually) and my ma is a beauty person so knows what is what and bought me some Karin Herzog gubbins for my face and eyes... My face is just scrumptious and moisturised and yummy. Truly, some products are so worth the money. Or my ma's anyway... (Just thought I would say because I do keep being sidetracked by needing to feel my cheek. I am in lust with my own cheek!)
Ok ok, today. Focus.
I am staying indoors today. I am only able to do this so much because of India and moving. But next year when I am back I am going to become much more part of the Uni faculty and do GTA work (possibly even for free for my Sup's class if he fancies) and see my friends much more and get maybe two evening hobbies. I am going to be OUT! But back to today... (I think we can see already how low my concentration levels are to be today) I am going to go through my old Tamil notes. I don't know if I will be able to learn new stuff today but will work on that until about 11. Then I shall start reading a textbook about the practical considerations of doing research methinks. Or actually, I will go through my uni notes from my MRes lectures and then start reading larger, longer chapters. I need a gist for now so I can pretend to know what I am about in TN. I do wonder how much I could possibly know now. I am normally one to organise and plan to death but maybe I am maturing in this work and realising that sometimes too much planning and organising is a *bad* thing. I can organise a lot when I am there. I just have to have notes with me to refer to re: protocol, or to make me feel better if I think I am doing it wrong. Otherwise maybe a gist is good, and when there I can go with the flow... Advice gratefully accepted!!
So that's my day. Oh, I will cancel my gym membership and lovefilm too. I would have done this but for my stupid fear of the phone. Why, and where did this come from?! What stupidity is this when a phone is worrying?! Lordy.
I think DB is going to cornwall on Weds. This will be ace and will get each other out of our respective hair until his beeday. I can pack and chat to myself and not get on his nerves. He can see his friends and get stressy issues off his chest without me feeling like he is making me nervous about whether he will be ready for Inja or not. So it is a grand plan. I just wish he could go for longer!
Ah! I ordered some handmade jewellery for my friend's 30th off the internet and it arrived and it is gorgeous. Just gorgeous. And the lady was lovely - is Lisa's Handmade Jewellery if anyone, you know, needs some handmade jewellery. As you do. www.lisasjewels.co.uk
I feel sad I am going to be away for chrimbly. I am too old probably for such homesickness.
Right! Onwards to the Tamil!
x J
Sunday 12 October 2008
:0(
Ah, I am sad today! I had the best weekend with my family and now it is all over, I am back home and feel homesick for my nearest and dearest. I shan't see them for six months! I think my ma is going to come for a visit in Feb which will be nice though. I had lots and lots of fun and ate lots of nice food and drank lots of wine. And now I am at home, suffering the football game that DB recorded, surrounded by mess and boxes of books and house moving stuff... We leave two weeks tomorrow!
The visa office was an interesting experience. DB and I had a huge argument in the car (as to be expected really, but a lot of air was cleared and we are best friends again now. Moving house and planning a six month trip is stressful business!!!) and we got there and all we had to do was hand over our passports and forms. And we have to go back on Weds to pick them up. Back! Rubbish, but DB hopes he can go in on his own and will make it the beginning of his farewell tour in Cornwall... I was actually asked to re-write my signature like the one on my passport - apparently they looked very different! I am sure when I did my passport one I did my *best* signature, whereas in real life I just do a scribble without thinking about it. Being asked to re-do your signature makes it a worryingly conscious thing and I just couldn't do it! The more I hesitated the worse it got as well. If you try and actually write your signature it becomes quite difficult. Anyway, I managed though I wasn't convinced it looked similar. The lady seemed to think it was ok though... I am nervous now because they have our passports and if there is something wrong it will take days more to be sorted... and we have only two weeks! Eek, left it a bit late eh. We needed to though to get maximum time because the visas start from the date they are issued in the UK.
I had my work back from my Sup and there don't seem to be many comments apart from semantics and grammar. I take heart from this.
Tomorrow I am going to start reading about how to do interviews and tings. I have been glad for my weekend away, I feel that my thoughts are back into perspective and also I feel much calmer. I have also realised that I just will not come back after India and fall into this lifestyle again. I am going to be much more sociable and get a couple of hobbies other than the gym and drinking booze. 'Papa, I am going to be a real boy!!' (or girl, more accurately).
My ma told me to wait until after the PhD to start a family. I want to start next year but she assures me that I won't be interested in the PhD when I have a wee baba. I know she is right but waiting until I am 31 and unemployed seems stupid too. Gah, what a pain this whole thing is. Is it ever a good time?
x J
The visa office was an interesting experience. DB and I had a huge argument in the car (as to be expected really, but a lot of air was cleared and we are best friends again now. Moving house and planning a six month trip is stressful business!!!) and we got there and all we had to do was hand over our passports and forms. And we have to go back on Weds to pick them up. Back! Rubbish, but DB hopes he can go in on his own and will make it the beginning of his farewell tour in Cornwall... I was actually asked to re-write my signature like the one on my passport - apparently they looked very different! I am sure when I did my passport one I did my *best* signature, whereas in real life I just do a scribble without thinking about it. Being asked to re-do your signature makes it a worryingly conscious thing and I just couldn't do it! The more I hesitated the worse it got as well. If you try and actually write your signature it becomes quite difficult. Anyway, I managed though I wasn't convinced it looked similar. The lady seemed to think it was ok though... I am nervous now because they have our passports and if there is something wrong it will take days more to be sorted... and we have only two weeks! Eek, left it a bit late eh. We needed to though to get maximum time because the visas start from the date they are issued in the UK.
I had my work back from my Sup and there don't seem to be many comments apart from semantics and grammar. I take heart from this.
Tomorrow I am going to start reading about how to do interviews and tings. I have been glad for my weekend away, I feel that my thoughts are back into perspective and also I feel much calmer. I have also realised that I just will not come back after India and fall into this lifestyle again. I am going to be much more sociable and get a couple of hobbies other than the gym and drinking booze. 'Papa, I am going to be a real boy!!' (or girl, more accurately).
My ma told me to wait until after the PhD to start a family. I want to start next year but she assures me that I won't be interested in the PhD when I have a wee baba. I know she is right but waiting until I am 31 and unemployed seems stupid too. Gah, what a pain this whole thing is. Is it ever a good time?
x J
Thursday 9 October 2008
Sleepy shredder
Today has been a surprising day-of-action!
This morning I learnt my Tamil for about an hour and half... Then I set about reading about pomo ideas of research again and then just thought I should have a squizz at what I had written so far for my Sup (I had decided not to send him anything but thought I should see what 'nothing' was) and ended up editing it, adding to it... and sending it to him. I had a bit of an ontological epiphany which culminated in an idea of 'real experience' but am not sure how that will go down. With he, or a more sober me... Not that I have drunk any alcohol! No, no, i am referring to that period of excitment when a piece of work has been finished and only checked once. I always advocate sending work after having had a cooling off period but don't really have time (seeing as am away first thing tomorrow am) so sent it in the heat of first draft. Oh well. I hope it isn't total tat.
One thing I am starting to realise about going away for 'fieldwork' is...
You are NEVER ready to do fieldwork.
Realising this has made me a lot less stressy. I have soooo much to do, but when there are a gazillion books on methods and ethics and bla bla bla, when wouldn't there be so much to do? Narrative style, concepts of 'voice', how to analyse, how to categorise, how to be reflexive and when, and WHAT! Erg, sooo much. And I have not a clue what notes to take to TN. Or rather, what notes *not* to take. I wish I was going somewhere with a semblance of a library... I have never done research before. I haven't learnt Nvivo, and much to my colleague's horror nor do I intend to. I appreciate it's wonderous categorisation facilities but just don't think I want to mechanise my thoughts and experiences in that manner. I wonder if this is me being a normal pomo researcher, or me being incredibly naive. Well, when I am there and am surrounded by notes and thoughts that don't make sense and I need a program to put it all togtehr and make sense, so shall it be. In the meantime, I am a free spirit! Free spirit!
I shall speak to Sup about this probably.
And so after all this work, I decided to start shredding my office. And seem to have bust the wee shredder. It is rather warm, I just hope that it has overheated for a bit because its DB's and he gets cross when I break his things... :0P
Generally though, today seems to have come together quite well considering the hoo-ha in my mind this morning. Hurrah.
Well, I may get a box or something to put books in while I wait for the shredder to get over itself. Gah, modern technology. If anyone tried to steal my identity anyway from my old bank statements I wish them luck trying to a)withdraw any cash or b)get any credit. No chance sonny-jim.
Tonight I am going to eat stir fry and perhaps make some flapjacks. I have a sweet tooth craving today and DB scoffed all the ice cream last night. Get. I may also start packing up the books downstairs and get rid of the shelves... Or I may just lie down in front of the tele and relish a bit of free time that has a semblence of being relaxing while it still exists... we move out two weeks tomorrow!!! Ironically I just cannot wait. Can't wait! That first beer when we get to town and have checked in to our room and said goodbye to the house (with my cracked cillit bang-hands) and we exist solely as two people and two backpacks... No keys... no nuttin'. Ah. What fun!
Oh, I need to fill in the visa forms tonight... Easy done. I need to remember to take my jewellry to my ma's tomorrow too. Don't want that in storage! (All my bling. Like, one necklace and a silver badge I got for my 18th.)
Tomorrow we need to set off at about half seven (8am in real - or DB - terms) to get to the visa office. Uk, do they not know I am a student! DB better not make me drive. I will wag the completed forms and other visa paraphernalia in his face (including the fact we are going at all) and state my job in this task as well and truly DONE!
x J
This morning I learnt my Tamil for about an hour and half... Then I set about reading about pomo ideas of research again and then just thought I should have a squizz at what I had written so far for my Sup (I had decided not to send him anything but thought I should see what 'nothing' was) and ended up editing it, adding to it... and sending it to him. I had a bit of an ontological epiphany which culminated in an idea of 'real experience' but am not sure how that will go down. With he, or a more sober me... Not that I have drunk any alcohol! No, no, i am referring to that period of excitment when a piece of work has been finished and only checked once. I always advocate sending work after having had a cooling off period but don't really have time (seeing as am away first thing tomorrow am) so sent it in the heat of first draft. Oh well. I hope it isn't total tat.
One thing I am starting to realise about going away for 'fieldwork' is...
You are NEVER ready to do fieldwork.
Realising this has made me a lot less stressy. I have soooo much to do, but when there are a gazillion books on methods and ethics and bla bla bla, when wouldn't there be so much to do? Narrative style, concepts of 'voice', how to analyse, how to categorise, how to be reflexive and when, and WHAT! Erg, sooo much. And I have not a clue what notes to take to TN. Or rather, what notes *not* to take. I wish I was going somewhere with a semblance of a library... I have never done research before. I haven't learnt Nvivo, and much to my colleague's horror nor do I intend to. I appreciate it's wonderous categorisation facilities but just don't think I want to mechanise my thoughts and experiences in that manner. I wonder if this is me being a normal pomo researcher, or me being incredibly naive. Well, when I am there and am surrounded by notes and thoughts that don't make sense and I need a program to put it all togtehr and make sense, so shall it be. In the meantime, I am a free spirit! Free spirit!
I shall speak to Sup about this probably.
And so after all this work, I decided to start shredding my office. And seem to have bust the wee shredder. It is rather warm, I just hope that it has overheated for a bit because its DB's and he gets cross when I break his things... :0P
Generally though, today seems to have come together quite well considering the hoo-ha in my mind this morning. Hurrah.
Well, I may get a box or something to put books in while I wait for the shredder to get over itself. Gah, modern technology. If anyone tried to steal my identity anyway from my old bank statements I wish them luck trying to a)withdraw any cash or b)get any credit. No chance sonny-jim.
Tonight I am going to eat stir fry and perhaps make some flapjacks. I have a sweet tooth craving today and DB scoffed all the ice cream last night. Get. I may also start packing up the books downstairs and get rid of the shelves... Or I may just lie down in front of the tele and relish a bit of free time that has a semblence of being relaxing while it still exists... we move out two weeks tomorrow!!! Ironically I just cannot wait. Can't wait! That first beer when we get to town and have checked in to our room and said goodbye to the house (with my cracked cillit bang-hands) and we exist solely as two people and two backpacks... No keys... no nuttin'. Ah. What fun!
Oh, I need to fill in the visa forms tonight... Easy done. I need to remember to take my jewellry to my ma's tomorrow too. Don't want that in storage! (All my bling. Like, one necklace and a silver badge I got for my 18th.)
Tomorrow we need to set off at about half seven (8am in real - or DB - terms) to get to the visa office. Uk, do they not know I am a student! DB better not make me drive. I will wag the completed forms and other visa paraphernalia in his face (including the fact we are going at all) and state my job in this task as well and truly DONE!
x J
Must organise myself! Day of reckoning...
Ok! Is today an important day or a normal day? Am I going to the gym or not? Am I sorting out my room or not? Am I finishing research about theory or not?
I don't know!!! I was supposed to know and this morning I don't.
So far I know that I will:
* Spend an hour learning Tamil.
* Spend any time after that until 2pm doing Pomo reading.
Then I have to go out to the PO. Well, 'should' go out. No, I will go out. I also have to get paper. I also should go to the gym, having not been for over a week. Ug, nearly two weeks. Then it will be about 4pm anyway and not much time for doing work any more that would be significant. I am stressed though because tomorrow we are doing visas and going to the family abode for the wekend. SO that means no work until Monday (Sunday shan't happen, whatever plans I make myself. I will be tired and grumpy)... And Monday is the day before Tuesday when I see Sup and am supposed to know things!!
SO what I want to know is, how to make best use of my time before then?! Should I spend parts of today faffing around doing jobs? Maybe I should leave the PO till tuesday.
I think I should do the Tamil for ONLY an hour. This will take me to half ten. Then I should work until half one and eat some lunch, and then decide my plan of action according to what I think I know. I am in a bit of a pyschological bind in that I feel really that I should only read this book's intro and concl even though I love it and want to sit and read all of it. And I have two or three other books about narrative and reflexivity that I think I should read too. But maybe I shouldn't? Or skim the intro's...
And another worry is that Tues is the last time I am going into town - so I will have to take all my library books back?!! Noooooo!!!! Where will I get knowledge from? I won't have any help then until April?! Oh dear. Maybe I should buy a book and take it with me. I would like the perfect qual researcher-with-a-pomo-bent book please, that gives me hints and advice on how to do interviews and observation in a responsible, reflexive manner, and with ethics in it too.
Ug.
Ok. No chores today. Today is for working. I will do pomo until half one today, then review the situ with a view to moving onto research 'technique' and ethics. And I will not take my interview guide books back on Tues, I will have to take them another time and give myself next week to learn that stuff.
All the best laid plans...
(When will I do my room?!)
x J
I don't know!!! I was supposed to know and this morning I don't.
So far I know that I will:
* Spend an hour learning Tamil.
* Spend any time after that until 2pm doing Pomo reading.
Then I have to go out to the PO. Well, 'should' go out. No, I will go out. I also have to get paper. I also should go to the gym, having not been for over a week. Ug, nearly two weeks. Then it will be about 4pm anyway and not much time for doing work any more that would be significant. I am stressed though because tomorrow we are doing visas and going to the family abode for the wekend. SO that means no work until Monday (Sunday shan't happen, whatever plans I make myself. I will be tired and grumpy)... And Monday is the day before Tuesday when I see Sup and am supposed to know things!!
SO what I want to know is, how to make best use of my time before then?! Should I spend parts of today faffing around doing jobs? Maybe I should leave the PO till tuesday.
I think I should do the Tamil for ONLY an hour. This will take me to half ten. Then I should work until half one and eat some lunch, and then decide my plan of action according to what I think I know. I am in a bit of a pyschological bind in that I feel really that I should only read this book's intro and concl even though I love it and want to sit and read all of it. And I have two or three other books about narrative and reflexivity that I think I should read too. But maybe I shouldn't? Or skim the intro's...
And another worry is that Tues is the last time I am going into town - so I will have to take all my library books back?!! Noooooo!!!! Where will I get knowledge from? I won't have any help then until April?! Oh dear. Maybe I should buy a book and take it with me. I would like the perfect qual researcher-with-a-pomo-bent book please, that gives me hints and advice on how to do interviews and observation in a responsible, reflexive manner, and with ethics in it too.
Ug.
Ok. No chores today. Today is for working. I will do pomo until half one today, then review the situ with a view to moving onto research 'technique' and ethics. And I will not take my interview guide books back on Tues, I will have to take them another time and give myself next week to learn that stuff.
All the best laid plans...
(When will I do my room?!)
x J
Wednesday 8 October 2008
End of Day. Sort of...
Raaaa, today has gone too fast! Noooo!
I have finished one book and done a whole load of faffing about something. What have I done? I ordered a *lot* from amazon today. Maybe that is where the day went. I got our travel towels and mossie net (woo!) and got DB some books and DVDs for his beeday (he better not start reading this!!). I got those parcels I don't want... I think basically I have been in a work fug because I have been reading this book and am bored of it now. I mean, it is a *great* book but it's always nice to move onto a new, fresh voice. I came out of that book all confused about whether I am into postmodernism after all then started the new one and it has put a whole new light onto it and am most happy. It's called 'After method: mess in social science research'. The happy acceptance of 'mess' pleases me. I am not one to want to categorise people and social activity. I think that would be very hard to do. Lord knows I wish I did get along with it though - believing in postmodern ideas means life gets rather confusing. And some pomos are such arses. I am much more of a pragmatic pomo, aye. I would happily use quant methods too if it was best for my research. I am not a research facist.
My 21 year old half sister has put pics of her trip-of-a-lifetime on facebook for the first time. She left in August so has been gone for... about 6 weeks? She is travelling through southern Africa, doing gorge drops, abseils, sand duning, camping, safaris... Wow, for her that must be like a lifetime but here, life just trundles on! Seems like she just left! I remember when I went travelling for three months and came home a very tanned, very skinny bean and no one had really noticed I had gone!! (Apart from DB who had waited in the airport for four hours for my delayed plane. Wow I couldn't wait to see him... and vowed never to leave him for months at a time again which I haven't. Is too rubbish.) But that was back in the days of early email... and when I had been away at uni for three years so guess it didn't make much difference. And that time I didn't even get much of a goodbye, but this time I am getting a full on family weekend! Oooh!
I suppose I should read some more of this book and then at six I may call it a day. Make some dins. Tomorrow will be a better day. I will work hard in the morning and then go to the gym after 1.30 (to catch the postie) and then get some more paper and come back and sort out my room. What a chore that will be. Will be a weight off my mind once it's done though. I have decided now not to dismantle my desk but to do that next Thursday, and it will herald the end of my work... So next week I have to cram in practical knowledge about how to do interviews and about ethics. Like, data protection for interviews and stuff - how on earth?! I can make up practical stuff. I suppose I ought to sort out something to do with consent too. How strange.
Ah! I am stressing myself out!
x J
I have finished one book and done a whole load of faffing about something. What have I done? I ordered a *lot* from amazon today. Maybe that is where the day went. I got our travel towels and mossie net (woo!) and got DB some books and DVDs for his beeday (he better not start reading this!!). I got those parcels I don't want... I think basically I have been in a work fug because I have been reading this book and am bored of it now. I mean, it is a *great* book but it's always nice to move onto a new, fresh voice. I came out of that book all confused about whether I am into postmodernism after all then started the new one and it has put a whole new light onto it and am most happy. It's called 'After method: mess in social science research'. The happy acceptance of 'mess' pleases me. I am not one to want to categorise people and social activity. I think that would be very hard to do. Lord knows I wish I did get along with it though - believing in postmodern ideas means life gets rather confusing. And some pomos are such arses. I am much more of a pragmatic pomo, aye. I would happily use quant methods too if it was best for my research. I am not a research facist.
My 21 year old half sister has put pics of her trip-of-a-lifetime on facebook for the first time. She left in August so has been gone for... about 6 weeks? She is travelling through southern Africa, doing gorge drops, abseils, sand duning, camping, safaris... Wow, for her that must be like a lifetime but here, life just trundles on! Seems like she just left! I remember when I went travelling for three months and came home a very tanned, very skinny bean and no one had really noticed I had gone!! (Apart from DB who had waited in the airport for four hours for my delayed plane. Wow I couldn't wait to see him... and vowed never to leave him for months at a time again which I haven't. Is too rubbish.) But that was back in the days of early email... and when I had been away at uni for three years so guess it didn't make much difference. And that time I didn't even get much of a goodbye, but this time I am getting a full on family weekend! Oooh!
I suppose I should read some more of this book and then at six I may call it a day. Make some dins. Tomorrow will be a better day. I will work hard in the morning and then go to the gym after 1.30 (to catch the postie) and then get some more paper and come back and sort out my room. What a chore that will be. Will be a weight off my mind once it's done though. I have decided now not to dismantle my desk but to do that next Thursday, and it will herald the end of my work... So next week I have to cram in practical knowledge about how to do interviews and about ethics. Like, data protection for interviews and stuff - how on earth?! I can make up practical stuff. I suppose I ought to sort out something to do with consent too. How strange.
Ah! I am stressing myself out!
x J
Internet shopping
Booo. I did some internet shopping and AGAIN it has turned out to be a disaster.
I ordered a mug that I personalised for my friend's birthday and it is NAFF. The picture is blurred and the pigment of the colours are weak so it looks like i did it myself. Drunk. So I have complained but won't get a refund because it is personalised. Cunning eh? Am naffed off, cause I lost £8 and also now have to think of another present for my mate and I don't know her that well. GREAT.
I also ordered some short sleeved shirts and a t shirt for DB. granted I did wonder if these would look good in real life, and no, they don't. At least I can get a refund. When I have completed the form, packaged it up again and gone to the PO to do it. Why I continue to bother I don't know. Although, some of my best clothes come from ebay...
My ma put some money in my account today to buy ourselves some chrissy pressies in Inja! Bless. I can get our mossie net and travel towels now! Wooo! And I can spend a bit more on a nice hotel for DB's beeday. And a nice meal. yum.
better get back to work I suppose. My room is being a climatic nightmare. One minute it is freeeeezing cold and I have tons of jumpers on, and the next I am boiling because the sun is beating down so hard it is warming up my glass of water.
Wow, I am on a bit of a whine eh?
Going now! Going!
x J
I ordered a mug that I personalised for my friend's birthday and it is NAFF. The picture is blurred and the pigment of the colours are weak so it looks like i did it myself. Drunk. So I have complained but won't get a refund because it is personalised. Cunning eh? Am naffed off, cause I lost £8 and also now have to think of another present for my mate and I don't know her that well. GREAT.
I also ordered some short sleeved shirts and a t shirt for DB. granted I did wonder if these would look good in real life, and no, they don't. At least I can get a refund. When I have completed the form, packaged it up again and gone to the PO to do it. Why I continue to bother I don't know. Although, some of my best clothes come from ebay...
My ma put some money in my account today to buy ourselves some chrissy pressies in Inja! Bless. I can get our mossie net and travel towels now! Wooo! And I can spend a bit more on a nice hotel for DB's beeday. And a nice meal. yum.
better get back to work I suppose. My room is being a climatic nightmare. One minute it is freeeeezing cold and I have tons of jumpers on, and the next I am boiling because the sun is beating down so hard it is warming up my glass of water.
Wow, I am on a bit of a whine eh?
Going now! Going!
x J
Cabin Fever
Ach I have been in this house for too long! Too long! I am not going anywhere today though I don't think. Today needs to be a workworkwork day, and then tomorrow I will work in the am, then go out to the gym etc and then come home and do some packing of my room for the afternoon. Then I shall be away until Sunday lunchtime with my family. I am going to be sad not to see them for six months! Eek.
Today I woke up late. I couldn't sleep again. I think I may give in and get some Kalms. I have never taken a sleep aid before but not being able to sleep is driving me insane and making bedtime quite a worry. And I get restless legs quite often when I am stressy and tired but not sleeping - like they need to twitch constantly. Is just awful. I think really I should just go to the gym and work out some of this stress, but with Tamil in the morning, then work to do all day and a house to pack up it just isn't up there in my priorities. And I am not eating much in the daytime either because I am a bit stressy so wouldn't have much energy anyway. DBs a bit cross cause he says I am getting too skinny so gymming isn't necessarily much of a help in that way... I will go tomorrow so I will and have eggs and toast when I get back to fuel up for my afternoon. I kerep forgetting too but I need to wait in for the postie to intercept DBs beeday presents! So I couldn't go till after half one anywho.
Today I have learnt some Tamil and am now at the stage where I am going to learn how to order food and get a bill and stuff. My first proper topic! I have learnt verbs and funny things and vocab and stuff, but this will be super cool and starts to bring it all together. I am getting frustrated with what I think I should know by now and don't , but then I have been learning properly for a week only so should take a chill pill a bit methinks...
So now I am continuing with my pomo reading. I don't think I am going to have this work for my Sup all done and dusted. I don't think I need to really. I know it in my head to talk to him about it which should be sufficient, and am also writing it as I go along (cause my memory is so bad!) but taking time to edit it and get it to be in good enough condition to send would actually take too much time for no reason. Twill be fine.
Better get on...
laters!
x J
Today I woke up late. I couldn't sleep again. I think I may give in and get some Kalms. I have never taken a sleep aid before but not being able to sleep is driving me insane and making bedtime quite a worry. And I get restless legs quite often when I am stressy and tired but not sleeping - like they need to twitch constantly. Is just awful. I think really I should just go to the gym and work out some of this stress, but with Tamil in the morning, then work to do all day and a house to pack up it just isn't up there in my priorities. And I am not eating much in the daytime either because I am a bit stressy so wouldn't have much energy anyway. DBs a bit cross cause he says I am getting too skinny so gymming isn't necessarily much of a help in that way... I will go tomorrow so I will and have eggs and toast when I get back to fuel up for my afternoon. I kerep forgetting too but I need to wait in for the postie to intercept DBs beeday presents! So I couldn't go till after half one anywho.
Today I have learnt some Tamil and am now at the stage where I am going to learn how to order food and get a bill and stuff. My first proper topic! I have learnt verbs and funny things and vocab and stuff, but this will be super cool and starts to bring it all together. I am getting frustrated with what I think I should know by now and don't , but then I have been learning properly for a week only so should take a chill pill a bit methinks...
So now I am continuing with my pomo reading. I don't think I am going to have this work for my Sup all done and dusted. I don't think I need to really. I know it in my head to talk to him about it which should be sufficient, and am also writing it as I go along (cause my memory is so bad!) but taking time to edit it and get it to be in good enough condition to send would actually take too much time for no reason. Twill be fine.
Better get on...
laters!
x J
Tuesday 7 October 2008
Dopey
I haven't done much today! I read through the blabber I wrote yesterday and actually it is more coherent than I thought so it doesn't need much attention. And so I have skived today really. Not touched Tamil. Not touched a book. Been surfing the internet and, I admit, been a bit bored.
But, but, but, it has been nice to have a day off and not do anything remotely productive.
And so I am going now. I will potter about somewhere else for a while. And tomorrow I shall be back on form again.
Until tomorrow then dear friends!
x J
But, but, but, it has been nice to have a day off and not do anything remotely productive.
And so I am going now. I will potter about somewhere else for a while. And tomorrow I shall be back on form again.
Until tomorrow then dear friends!
x J
Ooh!
I have been playing! The fruits of my efforts are a less ambiguous profile and a wee picky of my desk, or my PhD world... (Although not for much longer as I am moving housey after India). The desk is a nightmare. It was during my write up of chapter two. What you can't see as well is all the paper-piles on the floor.
I have to say it is as chaotic now, but the giant plant has been removed. I can't be bothered to clean it up as I am nearly done with it all now... I will be dismantling my desk on Thursday!
Hurray!
x J
ps. I asked DB if he would go for a fry-up with me and he said no! I think he has gone mad. I am worried. We never go for fry-ups even though we love them soooooo much. And he said no! Hmmph.
I have to say it is as chaotic now, but the giant plant has been removed. I can't be bothered to clean it up as I am nearly done with it all now... I will be dismantling my desk on Thursday!
Hurray!
x J
ps. I asked DB if he would go for a fry-up with me and he said no! I think he has gone mad. I am worried. We never go for fry-ups even though we love them soooooo much. And he said no! Hmmph.
Confession
Ok, ok, this morning I am really hungover. I am incredibly tired. My eyes are ridiculously puffy and I look haggard despite a liberal application of my ultra-light, luminating mousse moisteriser enticingly titled 'pureglow'. Pureglow nuttin'.
However, I am drinking my coffee and am going to open up the rabbiting I did yesterday with a view to editing it into some semblence of academic thought. Bah.
Last night was very theraputic by the way, so it served its purpose.
Better go. Wow, I am just so tired and stupid this morning. Hangovers used to be about sleeping and eating crisps. Now they are about trying to piece together my face and, well, my entire sense of self.
x J
However, I am drinking my coffee and am going to open up the rabbiting I did yesterday with a view to editing it into some semblence of academic thought. Bah.
Last night was very theraputic by the way, so it served its purpose.
Better go. Wow, I am just so tired and stupid this morning. Hangovers used to be about sleeping and eating crisps. Now they are about trying to piece together my face and, well, my entire sense of self.
x J
Monday 6 October 2008
Flat as a pancake
Bleugh today has been so flat! I feel like I stared at a wall all day. I didn't though. I have actually done quite a lot of work, but because I haven't really been participating in my own thoughts I feel as if I have done nowt.
Today has just been one of those days when you wonder where all the enthusiasm went and it makes you realise how much enjoying your work and topic helps you absorb and internalise information. I did find out a lot today - and have even started writing some of it out - but I am just not there. Is all very halfhearted. So I am going to go now, and ummmm... drinksomewine.
Yup-up, not the wisest choice I know; I have a HUGE deadline on Thursday that I am struggling to meet (luckily it's a self-imposed deadline so not meeting it shan't have any actual repercussions... just, you know, a crushing disappointment in my self) and if I have wine then tomorrow I will be fuzzy again. *But* - and this is a special 'but', people - I also believe that every once in a while you have to break the rules, get that naughty buzz, and then you can get back into being a total teachers-pet again. If I were to sit and watch tv tonight like a good person then I guarantee tomorrow I would snap and run out of the house in my pyjamas and be found in the crisps aisle of morrisons crying and laughing and wiping snot and quavers all over my big ol' PhD-candidate face.
So there! Let us all drink wine and make merry on this drab and tiring Monday of all Mondays.
x J
Today has just been one of those days when you wonder where all the enthusiasm went and it makes you realise how much enjoying your work and topic helps you absorb and internalise information. I did find out a lot today - and have even started writing some of it out - but I am just not there. Is all very halfhearted. So I am going to go now, and ummmm... drinksomewine.
Yup-up, not the wisest choice I know; I have a HUGE deadline on Thursday that I am struggling to meet (luckily it's a self-imposed deadline so not meeting it shan't have any actual repercussions... just, you know, a crushing disappointment in my self) and if I have wine then tomorrow I will be fuzzy again. *But* - and this is a special 'but', people - I also believe that every once in a while you have to break the rules, get that naughty buzz, and then you can get back into being a total teachers-pet again. If I were to sit and watch tv tonight like a good person then I guarantee tomorrow I would snap and run out of the house in my pyjamas and be found in the crisps aisle of morrisons crying and laughing and wiping snot and quavers all over my big ol' PhD-candidate face.
So there! Let us all drink wine and make merry on this drab and tiring Monday of all Mondays.
x J
Monday-itus
Ug I have monday-itus. This means I am still half in the weekend and my brain is not willing to engage, and I am so lethargic that I almost feel a bit ill. I did wonder if having a couple of days off would be wise...
Although I am trying to ignore it... This morning I have gone over yesterday's Tamil and learnt new vocab (pleasing words like 'room', 'reservation', 'day', 'week' etc. Learning those words is great because then you can make sentences! Woo!), have been to the tip to take yesterdays rubbish out, and organised my standing orders for next month and beyond, in India. DB kindly made some lunch or I don't think I would have had any, I am just not in the mood. Now I am going to do work on pomo. Work, work, work! I may set myself hourly targets today as I think I may end up staring out of the window without realising it otherwise.
I am on such a slow-mo today! All I can think about it moving-out logistics. I am obsessed!
Must. Work.
x J
Although I am trying to ignore it... This morning I have gone over yesterday's Tamil and learnt new vocab (pleasing words like 'room', 'reservation', 'day', 'week' etc. Learning those words is great because then you can make sentences! Woo!), have been to the tip to take yesterdays rubbish out, and organised my standing orders for next month and beyond, in India. DB kindly made some lunch or I don't think I would have had any, I am just not in the mood. Now I am going to do work on pomo. Work, work, work! I may set myself hourly targets today as I think I may end up staring out of the window without realising it otherwise.
I am on such a slow-mo today! All I can think about it moving-out logistics. I am obsessed!
Must. Work.
x J
Sunday 5 October 2008
What a poifect Sunday!
Today is such a lovely, lovely day. The sun is shining but it is crisp and cold, there is no wind and I have been very, very busy and conscientious!
Yesterday was a lovely lazy day and I did nothing. I read the paper inside and out and read about the Andaman islands, which is a group of tropical islands with India on the west, Thailand on the east and Burma on the north - and where I shall be snorkelling away my 30th beeday. bliss!... We shall be going there during our last week before we fly back which gives me a real goal to complete my work and have a proper exit plan. Plus, it is my beeday of course!
This morning I learnt some Tamil and revised my old notes and then spent a couple of hours in the garage, sorting through all the stuff, throwing boxes and junk away, cleaning and emptying other packing boxes, piling up DBs stuff against one wall for him to go through and collecting together my stuff that I want to keep. Luckily for me it was mostly about piling up DB's stuff. When we moved out of our last house I sorted through all of mine and boy am I grateful now! I needed to go in and do that though so I could organise DB and give him a bit of a leg-up so it isn't all so daunting... and calm my own fears about The Garage. Having exorcised that demon I think the worst part of the moving experience for me personally is actually to be my office. I have to go through all my old bank statements and shred them, pack up all my notes and books and cut-out articles and pens and paperclips and nonsense. And Filing. I shall have to do filing so when I come back my notes make some sense. I shall do that soon... I have to be clever about my time now because this weekend I am going home to see my family and be treated like a queen (for I shall be gone for so long! So long! And when I return I shall be thirty and have missed christmas)! And then the weekend after is DB's beeday - when he shall be the queen (!!) - we are going to go away for the night and get away from the stress and worry... - and the weekend after we will have moved out! Oh. My. Word.
I am doing my best though.
I then had a shower because the garage is not a nice grown-up and clean garage, but a land of arachnids and webs and dead bugs. Arg it was hellish. I scrubbed like a crazy woman. Then I had to tidy up my house and in a min I am going to organise our roast dinner!! See, I am very productive. But on a Sunday it never seems like a total chore but almost is a bit romantic; Sundays are for getting things done and being outside and busy and happy and then being rewarded by a snooze-inducing roast dinner in a clean tidy house and organised, settled mind.
I think I shall do some more cleaning later, maybe the landing area and the stairs. The longer I sit though the more tired out I realise I am!
What shall I do tomorrow? I need to go to the tip with the rubbish I collected and deposited in the car today... then I shall learn Tamil and do work. Tomorrow's moving chores are to cancel direct debits and set up standing orders from the 1 Nov for my payments when I am away. I need to do lots of work until Thursday, when I shall email a two page synopsis of my methodology (as in, theoretical and philosophical influence and research q's and methods) to my Sup and pretty much washed my hands of that part. After I have done this I think I will spend that Thursday afternoon sorting through my office, (that would be a good time to do it seeing as I would have mostly finished the hard part of sorting out the methodology, and won't do a whole load more until I see my Sup on the following Tuesday). Then, on Friday, we are getting our visas!
That sounds like a plan! I think actually I will fill out our visa forms now and get that done for Friday and off my mind. Seeing as I am at a bit of a loose end for an hour or so.
Cool!
x J
Yesterday was a lovely lazy day and I did nothing. I read the paper inside and out and read about the Andaman islands, which is a group of tropical islands with India on the west, Thailand on the east and Burma on the north - and where I shall be snorkelling away my 30th beeday. bliss!... We shall be going there during our last week before we fly back which gives me a real goal to complete my work and have a proper exit plan. Plus, it is my beeday of course!
This morning I learnt some Tamil and revised my old notes and then spent a couple of hours in the garage, sorting through all the stuff, throwing boxes and junk away, cleaning and emptying other packing boxes, piling up DBs stuff against one wall for him to go through and collecting together my stuff that I want to keep. Luckily for me it was mostly about piling up DB's stuff. When we moved out of our last house I sorted through all of mine and boy am I grateful now! I needed to go in and do that though so I could organise DB and give him a bit of a leg-up so it isn't all so daunting... and calm my own fears about The Garage. Having exorcised that demon I think the worst part of the moving experience for me personally is actually to be my office. I have to go through all my old bank statements and shred them, pack up all my notes and books and cut-out articles and pens and paperclips and nonsense. And Filing. I shall have to do filing so when I come back my notes make some sense. I shall do that soon... I have to be clever about my time now because this weekend I am going home to see my family and be treated like a queen (for I shall be gone for so long! So long! And when I return I shall be thirty and have missed christmas)! And then the weekend after is DB's beeday - when he shall be the queen (!!) - we are going to go away for the night and get away from the stress and worry... - and the weekend after we will have moved out! Oh. My. Word.
I am doing my best though.
I then had a shower because the garage is not a nice grown-up and clean garage, but a land of arachnids and webs and dead bugs. Arg it was hellish. I scrubbed like a crazy woman. Then I had to tidy up my house and in a min I am going to organise our roast dinner!! See, I am very productive. But on a Sunday it never seems like a total chore but almost is a bit romantic; Sundays are for getting things done and being outside and busy and happy and then being rewarded by a snooze-inducing roast dinner in a clean tidy house and organised, settled mind.
I think I shall do some more cleaning later, maybe the landing area and the stairs. The longer I sit though the more tired out I realise I am!
What shall I do tomorrow? I need to go to the tip with the rubbish I collected and deposited in the car today... then I shall learn Tamil and do work. Tomorrow's moving chores are to cancel direct debits and set up standing orders from the 1 Nov for my payments when I am away. I need to do lots of work until Thursday, when I shall email a two page synopsis of my methodology (as in, theoretical and philosophical influence and research q's and methods) to my Sup and pretty much washed my hands of that part. After I have done this I think I will spend that Thursday afternoon sorting through my office, (that would be a good time to do it seeing as I would have mostly finished the hard part of sorting out the methodology, and won't do a whole load more until I see my Sup on the following Tuesday). Then, on Friday, we are getting our visas!
That sounds like a plan! I think actually I will fill out our visa forms now and get that done for Friday and off my mind. Seeing as I am at a bit of a loose end for an hour or so.
Cool!
x J
Friday 3 October 2008
Terminado
I am off! Off for at least tomorrow. I haven't had a day off since a week last Wednesday! What a hard worker I am.
Don't pay any attention to me though, I am just at one of those stages where you have to work a lot. I am not an example of a proper PhD student workwise because I would always advocate taking time off. Which is why I am making myself have tomorrow off! Today wasn't hugely productive work-wise, though I did read a chapter of the Magnificent Book and started a new chapter which is just marvellous, telling me all the answers for conjoining pomo ideas and empirical research. Otherwise though, I bought some shirts for DBs birthday which I am not convinced I will like... And I ordered my bezzy mate's 30th Birthday pressie - I am getting her some handmade jewellry from a lovely lady called Lisa on tinternet.
I actually skipped off earlier as well and went to Morrisons, where I bought much boozy and some curry stuff for dins (to stay away from the takeaway!!). I had to use the brand-spanking new self-service tills and they were silly and kept messing up. The Morrison's lady was not impressed - she had to stand up and keep coming over to check the machines when she could have been doing it herself, and sat down.
And now I am waiting for DB to finish work and am in my gladrags to go and have a week-end glass of wine (in my kitchen. Rock and roll!). I have even put on make up and had a wash (yes, a wash) so he remembers how I can look perdy, and not just like a manky student.
It's going to take a while to relax I can tell. I have a one track mind at the moment and it is seriously focussed on wanting to work and learn Tamil and read about methodology and clean the house and order things to go away... UG! Have an evening off woman! If I am back on tomorrow then I am a Bad Person. Hopefully I will be all slovenley and hungover and will just sit in my PJs reading the paper, drinking tea and eating bacon sarnies... ahhhh.
Happy Friday all!
x J
Don't pay any attention to me though, I am just at one of those stages where you have to work a lot. I am not an example of a proper PhD student workwise because I would always advocate taking time off. Which is why I am making myself have tomorrow off! Today wasn't hugely productive work-wise, though I did read a chapter of the Magnificent Book and started a new chapter which is just marvellous, telling me all the answers for conjoining pomo ideas and empirical research. Otherwise though, I bought some shirts for DBs birthday which I am not convinced I will like... And I ordered my bezzy mate's 30th Birthday pressie - I am getting her some handmade jewellry from a lovely lady called Lisa on tinternet.
I actually skipped off earlier as well and went to Morrisons, where I bought much boozy and some curry stuff for dins (to stay away from the takeaway!!). I had to use the brand-spanking new self-service tills and they were silly and kept messing up. The Morrison's lady was not impressed - she had to stand up and keep coming over to check the machines when she could have been doing it herself, and sat down.
And now I am waiting for DB to finish work and am in my gladrags to go and have a week-end glass of wine (in my kitchen. Rock and roll!). I have even put on make up and had a wash (yes, a wash) so he remembers how I can look perdy, and not just like a manky student.
It's going to take a while to relax I can tell. I have a one track mind at the moment and it is seriously focussed on wanting to work and learn Tamil and read about methodology and clean the house and order things to go away... UG! Have an evening off woman! If I am back on tomorrow then I am a Bad Person. Hopefully I will be all slovenley and hungover and will just sit in my PJs reading the paper, drinking tea and eating bacon sarnies... ahhhh.
Happy Friday all!
x J
It's so coooooold!
Arg it's so cold outside! It is so cold inside! I have the heating on and am about to get another jumper to put on. We have a fairly new-build type house but it is owned by cheapskate housing peeps who haven't insulated it. Half an hour after turning the heating off the house is cold again. And I mean *cold*, not just, arf, it's not warm, but when you can feel whisps of cold drafts and have to warm your nose up in your hands. (That could just be me).
I like the weather though. I am getting into hibernation mode and barely leave the house at the moment. I feel like quite a lazy vache so think I will volunteer to go out later and get some wine and some dins instead of DB going out. Quite fancy a trip to the supermarket.
Ah! my eggs are boiling. Better get the toast in.
All done.
I have been learning Tamil all morning and hould know a lot but am at saturation stage and my mind won't retrieve information any more! I will leave it now and spend the weekend revising but not learning anything new. I hate revising, is so boring. I wish I had a good memory. Not a photgraphic one or anything, just a good one will do. This afternoon I am going to read more of that fantastic book... I should go and exercise but think I will skip that and walk to the supermarket instead and not eat any bad food for dins when I am drunk and weak! I shall be strong!
I do need to exercise though. I don't feel stressed as such but last night I couldn't sleep until about half two. I am pretty wired and excitable at the moment so I am going to chill out tonight and drink too much wine and tomorrow lounge around and try to rest my brain! I think I will do some cleaning of the housey for the Evil Estate Agents tomorrow.
Ooh! eggs are done!
Lunch time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x J
I like the weather though. I am getting into hibernation mode and barely leave the house at the moment. I feel like quite a lazy vache so think I will volunteer to go out later and get some wine and some dins instead of DB going out. Quite fancy a trip to the supermarket.
Ah! my eggs are boiling. Better get the toast in.
All done.
I have been learning Tamil all morning and hould know a lot but am at saturation stage and my mind won't retrieve information any more! I will leave it now and spend the weekend revising but not learning anything new. I hate revising, is so boring. I wish I had a good memory. Not a photgraphic one or anything, just a good one will do. This afternoon I am going to read more of that fantastic book... I should go and exercise but think I will skip that and walk to the supermarket instead and not eat any bad food for dins when I am drunk and weak! I shall be strong!
I do need to exercise though. I don't feel stressed as such but last night I couldn't sleep until about half two. I am pretty wired and excitable at the moment so I am going to chill out tonight and drink too much wine and tomorrow lounge around and try to rest my brain! I think I will do some cleaning of the housey for the Evil Estate Agents tomorrow.
Ooh! eggs are done!
Lunch time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
x J
Thursday 2 October 2008
PS...
I have decided not to go to the gym.
I thought I was making even myself feel ill with all my perfectionist-ness. So I am skiving the gym today. Although I did walk around for hours again yesterday with that darned rucksack of library books. And I should go tomorrow. I decided instead to peruse the property market in S on the internet and found my perfect cottage - and can afford it - (to rent mind, not buy. Oh no) and want to view it NOW, and rent it and sit in it and have babies and write up my fascinating research while eating cakes from the bakery and drinking fairtrade coffee from the coffee shop round t'corner...
As well as such daydreaming, I have been reading the best book in the world EVER!! about postmodernism and social research practice.
EVER!
(postmodernism and social research by Mats Alvesson if you please)
Bye!
less-than-perfect-J x Phew!
I thought I was making even myself feel ill with all my perfectionist-ness. So I am skiving the gym today. Although I did walk around for hours again yesterday with that darned rucksack of library books. And I should go tomorrow. I decided instead to peruse the property market in S on the internet and found my perfect cottage - and can afford it - (to rent mind, not buy. Oh no) and want to view it NOW, and rent it and sit in it and have babies and write up my fascinating research while eating cakes from the bakery and drinking fairtrade coffee from the coffee shop round t'corner...
As well as such daydreaming, I have been reading the best book in the world EVER!! about postmodernism and social research practice.
EVER!
(postmodernism and social research by Mats Alvesson if you please)
Bye!
less-than-perfect-J x Phew!
Working Super Demon
I am unstoppable! And living proof that even a sloth like me can pull my finger out and get work going!
I have been working hard for actual *days* now. I have worked every day for over a week too. Normally three days would do before I would get drunk to a)relax and b)give myself an excuse to take the next day off.
Today though, I am a bastion, yes bastion, of productivity. I was working at nine am, and did two hard hours of Tamil learning and since then I haven't stopped working out my methodology malarky. I now have 2,5000 words of blatherings concerning my research. In it I have included:
* my research questions
* the research's theoretical direction
* why TN is my case-study region
* the background context to the research (unnecessary and time-consuming but the repetition about what the chuff this is all about helps focus my thoughts)
* the theoretical ideas underpinning this particular part of the research (ie. ideas about Tamilnadu and cultural contestation of liberalist West - INGOs - and indigenous 'other').
* Hypothesis
* What I don't know yet but need to bear in mind (i.e. will I go there and find this all speculative rubbish?!)
* Assumptions and biases of the research.
* Research questions (examples of a few, and awareness that I can't know them all till I get there).
Then the next section is 'methods', but first I need to read all that lovely literature I got from the library yesterday about how postmodernist ideas translate into 'real world' research. I shall read these this afternoon, and probably tomorrow. (probably?! Even I, in my current super-work mode cannot read four books in one afternoon!) Then I should have a fairly good outline of what I am going to be up to, to tell my Sup. Ethics and the actual hoo-ha about how to do interviews I don't think he cares much about. More he would like to know my research question that I want to answer when I am there (yes, finally dear reader, I think I know this), my hypotheses, my theoretical direction, and what data I hope to get to analyse upon my return. And maybe an idea of how I am going to to that.
yes, yes, it shall be fine. I may even get a day off this weekend! I don't know though, I am not really in the mood for days off at the mo...
famous last words eh?!
Well. I have reached a natural break and although my heart says 'no' my head is plugging away at me to go to the gym. Damnable conscience.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
x J
Ps. Today is a beautiful, calm, cold autumn day. I want to go and buy the giant hats and scarves I have seen in the shops, but alas, a bikini would be better investment. Pros and cons I suppose!?! I have been talking to my ma this morn as well (well, an eamil) about advance chrimbly pressies, seeing as we will be incognito at the time. (I wonder if we will even notice it is christmas?!) Anyway, with the weather being as it is today and talk of christmas I feel soooooo christmassy and yum! I love love LOVE this time of year. I am going to cook a roast dinner this Sunday and eat it snuggled up by my fire.
Ahhhhhhhh. xxx
I have been working hard for actual *days* now. I have worked every day for over a week too. Normally three days would do before I would get drunk to a)relax and b)give myself an excuse to take the next day off.
Today though, I am a bastion, yes bastion, of productivity. I was working at nine am, and did two hard hours of Tamil learning and since then I haven't stopped working out my methodology malarky. I now have 2,5000 words of blatherings concerning my research. In it I have included:
* my research questions
* the research's theoretical direction
* why TN is my case-study region
* the background context to the research (unnecessary and time-consuming but the repetition about what the chuff this is all about helps focus my thoughts)
* the theoretical ideas underpinning this particular part of the research (ie. ideas about Tamilnadu and cultural contestation of liberalist West - INGOs - and indigenous 'other').
* Hypothesis
* What I don't know yet but need to bear in mind (i.e. will I go there and find this all speculative rubbish?!)
* Assumptions and biases of the research.
* Research questions (examples of a few, and awareness that I can't know them all till I get there).
Then the next section is 'methods', but first I need to read all that lovely literature I got from the library yesterday about how postmodernist ideas translate into 'real world' research. I shall read these this afternoon, and probably tomorrow. (probably?! Even I, in my current super-work mode cannot read four books in one afternoon!) Then I should have a fairly good outline of what I am going to be up to, to tell my Sup. Ethics and the actual hoo-ha about how to do interviews I don't think he cares much about. More he would like to know my research question that I want to answer when I am there (yes, finally dear reader, I think I know this), my hypotheses, my theoretical direction, and what data I hope to get to analyse upon my return. And maybe an idea of how I am going to to that.
yes, yes, it shall be fine. I may even get a day off this weekend! I don't know though, I am not really in the mood for days off at the mo...
famous last words eh?!
Well. I have reached a natural break and although my heart says 'no' my head is plugging away at me to go to the gym. Damnable conscience.
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
x J
Ps. Today is a beautiful, calm, cold autumn day. I want to go and buy the giant hats and scarves I have seen in the shops, but alas, a bikini would be better investment. Pros and cons I suppose!?! I have been talking to my ma this morn as well (well, an eamil) about advance chrimbly pressies, seeing as we will be incognito at the time. (I wonder if we will even notice it is christmas?!) Anyway, with the weather being as it is today and talk of christmas I feel soooooo christmassy and yum! I love love LOVE this time of year. I am going to cook a roast dinner this Sunday and eat it snuggled up by my fire.
Ahhhhhhhh. xxx
Wednesday 1 October 2008
Wednesday, 1 October 2008
Hellooooo!
How are we all today? I wonder how the weather is in your area (yes, I am British, the weather is important!) because here it is totally Bizarre (note the capital 'B'). One minute the sun is shining right in your eye and then it is raining and then it is black outside and I am putting my light on in my room, then I am pulling down my blind for the blinding sun... It is unnervingly like the weather in those old-school eighties armegeddon films...
Today has been a good, busy day! I went to uni and saw the lecture which was *great*, saw my matey for lunch (and she didn't scare me with news of her methodology progress! Phew!) and spoke to a couple of other vague PhD friends who, upon quizzing me about my research, concluded that I seemed to know my onions and reassured me that all will be well. I hope so! I got out some books about postmodern research methods and how to go about 'doing' it... This will hopefully bridge the gap between theory and 'real life' research... I am quite looking forward to it actually.
Learnt some Tamil this morning... I hate learning vocabulary! SOoooooooo boring! I hate learning anything on purpose really, I like passive learning.
I went shopping in town as well, I bought my little sis a bag for her new college course. I am so proud of her, she has this terrible illness (I am sure you know, I do blather on) and has come back and is now going to uni to be a forensic scientist! I am so proud of her strength and resolve. So yeah, I bought her a dunlop bag from topman (she likes to wear boy clothes, very individual is my sis! unlike me wondering round like a proud fashion-victim in my skinny jeans and smock tops - not a good look for non-preggers people!)... I don't know if she will like it or not... hmm.
(I have a face mask on to sort out my manky face from too much boozing and it is stinging. I am not sure this is right?!)
Yep yep, so then I went shopping for me! And got some inja stuff like anti mossie gubbins and remedies and sun creams... yay! Very exciting!
I can't believe it's 6.10. I was going to type up the notes from today's lecture but can't be bothered. I think I will look at the Tamil again and put the notes in my meetings and lectures folder for a rainy day (not today!).
Grr fallout boy are 'singing' on the radio. He can't pronounce any words, it annoys me.
Oh! And I closed down my annoying bank account today. Phew!
I keep thinking I have lots to do tomorrow, or at least very soon. I don't though. The next few days until the 10th are to be spent working, working, working. The 10th we go to Birmingham to get our visas (!! I will be so scared they will say NO!) and then I am going to see my famille for a good-bye dinner. Some extended family that I love dearly are coming to stay too so it shall be quite a knees up! Then, I see my Sup on the 14th. So I currently have a (personal) deadline of the 8th to get some work to him about the theory, about my methods and how I am going to link them. A week! Time is going to go scarily fast from now until we leave, I have just realised. I am scared... (and very, very excited).
x J
How are we all today? I wonder how the weather is in your area (yes, I am British, the weather is important!) because here it is totally Bizarre (note the capital 'B'). One minute the sun is shining right in your eye and then it is raining and then it is black outside and I am putting my light on in my room, then I am pulling down my blind for the blinding sun... It is unnervingly like the weather in those old-school eighties armegeddon films...
Today has been a good, busy day! I went to uni and saw the lecture which was *great*, saw my matey for lunch (and she didn't scare me with news of her methodology progress! Phew!) and spoke to a couple of other vague PhD friends who, upon quizzing me about my research, concluded that I seemed to know my onions and reassured me that all will be well. I hope so! I got out some books about postmodern research methods and how to go about 'doing' it... This will hopefully bridge the gap between theory and 'real life' research... I am quite looking forward to it actually.
Learnt some Tamil this morning... I hate learning vocabulary! SOoooooooo boring! I hate learning anything on purpose really, I like passive learning.
I went shopping in town as well, I bought my little sis a bag for her new college course. I am so proud of her, she has this terrible illness (I am sure you know, I do blather on) and has come back and is now going to uni to be a forensic scientist! I am so proud of her strength and resolve. So yeah, I bought her a dunlop bag from topman (she likes to wear boy clothes, very individual is my sis! unlike me wondering round like a proud fashion-victim in my skinny jeans and smock tops - not a good look for non-preggers people!)... I don't know if she will like it or not... hmm.
(I have a face mask on to sort out my manky face from too much boozing and it is stinging. I am not sure this is right?!)
Yep yep, so then I went shopping for me! And got some inja stuff like anti mossie gubbins and remedies and sun creams... yay! Very exciting!
I can't believe it's 6.10. I was going to type up the notes from today's lecture but can't be bothered. I think I will look at the Tamil again and put the notes in my meetings and lectures folder for a rainy day (not today!).
Grr fallout boy are 'singing' on the radio. He can't pronounce any words, it annoys me.
Oh! And I closed down my annoying bank account today. Phew!
I keep thinking I have lots to do tomorrow, or at least very soon. I don't though. The next few days until the 10th are to be spent working, working, working. The 10th we go to Birmingham to get our visas (!! I will be so scared they will say NO!) and then I am going to see my famille for a good-bye dinner. Some extended family that I love dearly are coming to stay too so it shall be quite a knees up! Then, I see my Sup on the 14th. So I currently have a (personal) deadline of the 8th to get some work to him about the theory, about my methods and how I am going to link them. A week! Time is going to go scarily fast from now until we leave, I have just realised. I am scared... (and very, very excited).
x J
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