If it is possible to be too pregnant, that is what I am... I didn't post yesterday because the day was rubbish, I did very little but admin stuff (chasing up the library about a library book I didn't actually have/re-enrolling/sorting out funding info etc) and then just boobed around on the internet. Felt quite rubbish by the end of the day and do again today.
Was quite miffed yesterday really because I got really late notice about a friend wanting to come and stay. I was feeling v pregnant, fat and tired and the thought of having to clean and tidy the house, make up the spare room, fill the fridge and put on a jolly smile was doing my head in. And today is not much better! In fact I am in tantrum mode today and really want it to all go away, so I can just spend the day going for a swim (to counteract the 'fat' feeling) and settling into writing my presentation. Instead I have been informed this morning that said guest (who is a friend but is using the place to stay whie she finds somewhere to live, not to visit us per se, so is not quite like I invited them and am now having a sulk about it) is arriving at lunchtime and then realised I am going to have to feed them UG - what do non pregnant people eat?! Salad stuff I guess?! I just eat whatever I can be fussed with in the daytime tbh (healthy, like soup but you can't feed three people one tub of soup!) or have some eggsies or whatever. Arf, maybe I shall take her out for lunch and then I can get some chocolate cake, a bit of perspective, and give DB some space to work...
I am looking forward to seeing her is just all the stuff around it. Also, tomorrow is a big Beanie day as we are 27 weeks, at the end of the second trimester, (woo!) and we will only have ten weeks until he is fully cooked (and I have maternity leave PHEW)! This is really exciting but we won't be able to do anything about it all day which for some, probably hugely pregnant and unreasonable reason, I am resenting. Even though we are going out for dinner in town and then going to a comedy gig (has been booked since May, so looking forward to it!) in the evening! So guest will be here on their ownio which is a bit wierd but cool I guess.
Arf, am being a good mate, DB keeps saying it, and there is no way I would let my friend know how cross I am about the whole thing - is all very petty I know. Is just that I was given no notice and I feel that my hefty preggers status has been completely overlooked and it is the fact I work from home has been translated into 'so you are free at the drop of a hat' which I begrudge. Yes, I work from home but no, it does not mean I am going to spend the afternoon dancing for you but in fact, I have work to do! You know, like as if I was at work?! So I will just rant here and then plaster on a smile. Am off to make up the bed in the spare room now, which will give me bump ache for the rest of the day but, you know, WHATEVER.
Bah.
Workwise I am going to try and settle into writing my presentation this afternoon but will have to work in the kitchen so don't know how well that will go down. I really want to have it sorted for the end of the week (she is leaving on Friday; when? I know not) and have a good idea of how my chapters are reading. Arf, it ain't gonna happen is it?
Not heard from Sup yet about the work I sent him... I don't know if this is a good or bad thing but am getting increasingly scared. Also not heard from any of the translation people :0(
x J
Wednesday, 30 September 2009
Monday, 28 September 2009
Good day!
Weeeeeeeeeeeee! I am a good worker :0)
I am now in the fourth and final year of my PhD, estimated end date of Sept 2011 (with a baby in between lol). Eek! It makes little sense to me if I remember how in awe I was of final year students when I started... they were old and they were wise - and confident - but I am not like this! Wellll, the confidence is probably the main difference. I am definitely older, not wise, but more confident - when I started I was just waiting for someone to send me packing as if allowing me on the course was a big mistake! I suppose by now I have gone through all the MRes rubbish, the worry trying to work out what I am doing with my thoughts, and the lack of confidence that you have anything worth saying - and done the fieldwork. Being post-fieldwork is a big marker in a PhD I think.
I did a plan this morning for work to have achieved between now and when I stop working around the 11th December. Uni finishes for the xmas break a week later than that so I shan't be missing anything or called in for anything which is great - I will feel a lot more relaxed and much less like a skiver. It will probably take me a while to wind down and forget about the work tbh, but I wil have xmas to focus on, oh, and a baby I suppose... so should be ok?! Silly me.
Yep, so I did a plan. Over the weekend I thought about how to help my working day along a little more, and decided that maybe I should sort of go 'part time' so I feel I have lots of time to do nothing (be tired and stupid) but also get lots of work done, so decided to plan on doing a four hour day. This means I should be doing concentrated work for four hours every day - which is not full time I know but ARG who can sit and write for 7 solid hours day-in, day-out? Someone with a very tight and looming deadline yes, but not the normal PhD student who has months and months of writing stretching out in front of them. So four hours of good work is my aim, two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon, with room for food, faff, a nap (if necessary) and exercise. And today worked very well. I felt structured, I did not feel like a loser because if I zoned out for half an hour I can always make that time up - you can fit 4 hours in quite easily - and I did not feel so pressured I did nothing. You know that horrible feeling that you have when you sit down, that the day will never end, will just drag on and on and you will never do any work so what's the point? Well, you an't feel like that if you're 'part time'. AND the cunning part is that four hours is easy, so you will inevitably do more than that most days. I mean, I am still here and I don't feel any pain! And it's 5.45 on a Monday! And also, tomorrow I have an appt at a fancy gym for a look-see, (am just going for a nose and a free swim in a posh pool) in the morning, and normally i would feel guilty but no need! I can be home and do my four hours in the afternoon, no probs. I will have to work hard and have them all in a row but, you know, it feels manageable. Hurray! We shall how it works, but for now it is a good 'un.
Read some of the Joan Bolker bible this morning too and made me feel like on the whole, I have the same problems as everyone else and generally tackle them in the right way. This was reassuring. Is actually a very good book (Writing your dissertation in 15 mins a day it is called) and I would recommend it.
Sorted out my chapters today too, and realised I have a total of 25,000 words done... good going - is just under a third of the total! A third! I can fill the rest up *easily* so hurray! Although the devil is in the detail, let us not forget that... But I shall cross that bridge when it comes to it - for now just getting the words down is the main thing.
So, gym tomorrow am and then working on my presentation in the pm.
x J
I am now in the fourth and final year of my PhD, estimated end date of Sept 2011 (with a baby in between lol). Eek! It makes little sense to me if I remember how in awe I was of final year students when I started... they were old and they were wise - and confident - but I am not like this! Wellll, the confidence is probably the main difference. I am definitely older, not wise, but more confident - when I started I was just waiting for someone to send me packing as if allowing me on the course was a big mistake! I suppose by now I have gone through all the MRes rubbish, the worry trying to work out what I am doing with my thoughts, and the lack of confidence that you have anything worth saying - and done the fieldwork. Being post-fieldwork is a big marker in a PhD I think.
I did a plan this morning for work to have achieved between now and when I stop working around the 11th December. Uni finishes for the xmas break a week later than that so I shan't be missing anything or called in for anything which is great - I will feel a lot more relaxed and much less like a skiver. It will probably take me a while to wind down and forget about the work tbh, but I wil have xmas to focus on, oh, and a baby I suppose... so should be ok?! Silly me.
Yep, so I did a plan. Over the weekend I thought about how to help my working day along a little more, and decided that maybe I should sort of go 'part time' so I feel I have lots of time to do nothing (be tired and stupid) but also get lots of work done, so decided to plan on doing a four hour day. This means I should be doing concentrated work for four hours every day - which is not full time I know but ARG who can sit and write for 7 solid hours day-in, day-out? Someone with a very tight and looming deadline yes, but not the normal PhD student who has months and months of writing stretching out in front of them. So four hours of good work is my aim, two hours in the morning and two in the afternoon, with room for food, faff, a nap (if necessary) and exercise. And today worked very well. I felt structured, I did not feel like a loser because if I zoned out for half an hour I can always make that time up - you can fit 4 hours in quite easily - and I did not feel so pressured I did nothing. You know that horrible feeling that you have when you sit down, that the day will never end, will just drag on and on and you will never do any work so what's the point? Well, you an't feel like that if you're 'part time'. AND the cunning part is that four hours is easy, so you will inevitably do more than that most days. I mean, I am still here and I don't feel any pain! And it's 5.45 on a Monday! And also, tomorrow I have an appt at a fancy gym for a look-see, (am just going for a nose and a free swim in a posh pool) in the morning, and normally i would feel guilty but no need! I can be home and do my four hours in the afternoon, no probs. I will have to work hard and have them all in a row but, you know, it feels manageable. Hurray! We shall how it works, but for now it is a good 'un.
Read some of the Joan Bolker bible this morning too and made me feel like on the whole, I have the same problems as everyone else and generally tackle them in the right way. This was reassuring. Is actually a very good book (Writing your dissertation in 15 mins a day it is called) and I would recommend it.
Sorted out my chapters today too, and realised I have a total of 25,000 words done... good going - is just under a third of the total! A third! I can fill the rest up *easily* so hurray! Although the devil is in the detail, let us not forget that... But I shall cross that bridge when it comes to it - for now just getting the words down is the main thing.
So, gym tomorrow am and then working on my presentation in the pm.
x J
Friday, 25 September 2009
Friday!
Yay it's Friday, and not *just* Friday, but the end of friday! hurray!
Not that it makes any odds to me - yes, you guessed it, I did nothing. And I mean nothing. I think I decided to take the day off as the editing I did have planned for these past two days doesn't need doing. Had a nice email from Sup last night saying he had my work but was super busy at the mo with the new students which I understand, was nice of him to keep me informed though. So am feeling quite relaxed.
Had terrible bump ache today though so have been lying on the bed for most of the day and not really been very mobile. Did manage to get to the shops for a bacon sarnie though... I was desperate for some meaty goodness! And a massive bar of galaxy chocolate which I wolfed down before I even had time to think about it - freaky! Beanie has been so busy today too bless him, but not my bump!
Am going to have a nice bath which should soothe my pains and will then take up my official friday night/weekend position on the settee for the night. With some cake. Cake! I never eat cake let alone buy a whole one.
Am just putting it down to being 'one of those days'. Have done some emailing and admin stuff, but not even opened my chapter. Oh well - I deserve some kind of break after my manic 6000 word writing last week!
x J
Not that it makes any odds to me - yes, you guessed it, I did nothing. And I mean nothing. I think I decided to take the day off as the editing I did have planned for these past two days doesn't need doing. Had a nice email from Sup last night saying he had my work but was super busy at the mo with the new students which I understand, was nice of him to keep me informed though. So am feeling quite relaxed.
Had terrible bump ache today though so have been lying on the bed for most of the day and not really been very mobile. Did manage to get to the shops for a bacon sarnie though... I was desperate for some meaty goodness! And a massive bar of galaxy chocolate which I wolfed down before I even had time to think about it - freaky! Beanie has been so busy today too bless him, but not my bump!
Am going to have a nice bath which should soothe my pains and will then take up my official friday night/weekend position on the settee for the night. With some cake. Cake! I never eat cake let alone buy a whole one.
Am just putting it down to being 'one of those days'. Have done some emailing and admin stuff, but not even opened my chapter. Oh well - I deserve some kind of break after my manic 6000 word writing last week!
x J
Thursday, 24 September 2009
Let us think...
I didn't really *do* much today, but I feel quite happy about this so, you know, whatever.
One thing I have realised is... I am in the writing up stage.
Somehow this has crept up on me. There has been no trumpet sound or official announcement or meeting, it has just occured to me (and by 'just', I mean literally just now) that I am writing up now. I do have my research to 'analyse' but I am not really analysing it, I just need the interviews to be translated so I can see what they say and then write it out into my Indian chapter, and look at how it compares with the political and humanitarian representations of the aid effort. Then I do need to do some analysis but should be a) interesting and b) not really take long. It is not a chore because it is the *last* piece of the jigsaw that is my thesis. I like juggling the pieces, it is when they are all in place and just need to be written up that it is tedious - the actual thinking and pondering and eureka moments (assuming one happens that is) are fun!
I think this is pretty ok really, considering I have a whole year to go. I am bang on target to complete on time I would say... So , for this reason, I can be pleased. I cannot, however, be relaxed. Oh no. Because writing up is a whole new ballgame. It takes a whole new mentality and focus. I needs strict deadlines and targets. It is the hardest part - because it is soooooo boring and long and unrewarding and blaaaaaaaaa.
SO! How are we to tackle this then? Make targets - Beanie's arrival is a big deadline that I am working towards atm. My Sup seems to think that I will have an entire first draft done by then which sounds lovely but isn't true. I will do what I can, tis all I can say.
Chapters:
Intro Do next year. 10,000 words
Lit review Write next year, plan this year? 15,000 words
Methodology Draft One done. 8,000 words
Humanit bit Draft One done. 8,000 words
Political bit Draft one done and being re-done now to include conf paper. 8-10,000 words
Indian bit Write rough draft this year (do in Oct). 8,000 words
Discussion Write rough draft this year (do in Nov). 15,000 words
Conclusion Do next year. 5,000 words
I aim to finish all this year's work for the beg of Dec, am likely to have my final Uni monitoring meeting in Dec when they will want my chaper outline and some plan of writing-up, which I have definitely got all sorted! Will the writing get easier? Hmmm. Is definitely not easy at the mo! But now I have realised I am actually in the writing zone I can be more strict with myself. I have been a bit in denial I think. And focussing on the conference.
Tomorrow then, I shall do a decent timeline and the rejigging of my political chaper so all chapters are as they should be for now. Housekeeping and editing I suppose you would call it. Then on Monday I may have heard from Sup about the conf paper. Anyway, until I do hear, sorting out how it will fit into the chapter will keep me busy next week and then that chapter will actually be done! (For review, but as done as it can be for the forseeable!) Exciting!
I'll give myself until Weds to do that and start Oct anew on a new chapter...
I start my new year on Monday... am not changing my profile until then to say am in the forth and final year. At the mo I take refuge in the fact I am still in the third year and have a complete year still in front of me!!! ;0)
x J
One thing I have realised is... I am in the writing up stage.
Somehow this has crept up on me. There has been no trumpet sound or official announcement or meeting, it has just occured to me (and by 'just', I mean literally just now) that I am writing up now. I do have my research to 'analyse' but I am not really analysing it, I just need the interviews to be translated so I can see what they say and then write it out into my Indian chapter, and look at how it compares with the political and humanitarian representations of the aid effort. Then I do need to do some analysis but should be a) interesting and b) not really take long. It is not a chore because it is the *last* piece of the jigsaw that is my thesis. I like juggling the pieces, it is when they are all in place and just need to be written up that it is tedious - the actual thinking and pondering and eureka moments (assuming one happens that is) are fun!
I think this is pretty ok really, considering I have a whole year to go. I am bang on target to complete on time I would say... So , for this reason, I can be pleased. I cannot, however, be relaxed. Oh no. Because writing up is a whole new ballgame. It takes a whole new mentality and focus. I needs strict deadlines and targets. It is the hardest part - because it is soooooo boring and long and unrewarding and blaaaaaaaaa.
SO! How are we to tackle this then? Make targets - Beanie's arrival is a big deadline that I am working towards atm. My Sup seems to think that I will have an entire first draft done by then which sounds lovely but isn't true. I will do what I can, tis all I can say.
Chapters:
Intro Do next year. 10,000 words
Lit review Write next year, plan this year? 15,000 words
Methodology Draft One done. 8,000 words
Humanit bit Draft One done. 8,000 words
Political bit Draft one done and being re-done now to include conf paper. 8-10,000 words
Indian bit Write rough draft this year (do in Oct). 8,000 words
Discussion Write rough draft this year (do in Nov). 15,000 words
Conclusion Do next year. 5,000 words
I aim to finish all this year's work for the beg of Dec, am likely to have my final Uni monitoring meeting in Dec when they will want my chaper outline and some plan of writing-up, which I have definitely got all sorted! Will the writing get easier? Hmmm. Is definitely not easy at the mo! But now I have realised I am actually in the writing zone I can be more strict with myself. I have been a bit in denial I think. And focussing on the conference.
Tomorrow then, I shall do a decent timeline and the rejigging of my political chaper so all chapters are as they should be for now. Housekeeping and editing I suppose you would call it. Then on Monday I may have heard from Sup about the conf paper. Anyway, until I do hear, sorting out how it will fit into the chapter will keep me busy next week and then that chapter will actually be done! (For review, but as done as it can be for the forseeable!) Exciting!
I'll give myself until Weds to do that and start Oct anew on a new chapter...
I start my new year on Monday... am not changing my profile until then to say am in the forth and final year. At the mo I take refuge in the fact I am still in the third year and have a complete year still in front of me!!! ;0)
x J
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
umm
Today I say at my desk all day...
and looked up accommodation for my and DB's trip away after the presentation and for his beeday... and bought him some beeday pressies... and emailed my friends... and pondered.
Decided in the end to email my work to my Sup - the 6,000 words I wrote last week for the conference - and await his response before moving on too much with it. I tried to work on it all day and it took me that long to realise I wasn't avoiding it as such, I just wasn't sure what I was meant to be doing with it! I mean, do I spend days re-writing it for Sup just for him to tell me to write it again for whatever reason? What's the point in that? I may as well send it to him as it is now, and then if he tells me it is trash I haven't wasted days editing it for no reason. If he says it is good this will give me some lovely, much-needed motivation to tighten it up and make it PhD-worthy. Whatever happens, I realised I could do with some outside input before moving on with it. Is the beginning of term so am not expecting a quick reply, but feel happy that I have sent something with some depth to him to show am not just sitting at home being pregnant and absent-minded... (shhh, don't tell him!)
I have eczema coming up on my fingers and it itches me :0( Is a sign of the cooler times obviously. Am feeling quite christmassy! May be peaking a bit early?!!
Oh, I emailed an Indian contact who has offered their translation services too... please, please help me! Oh AND I heard from my RA over the weekend, after I sent him an email saying that time was running out about the translation work and could he donate the money I paid in advance to his NGO, saying he will have it done soon. Excellent, I love 'soon'...
Tomorrow I am going to get out my revised chapter outline and, I think, get out the info for the next chapter, which is the 'Indian voice'... I have quite a bit of info already, before needing the interviews... I will sort out the conference presentation when I have heard from my Sup, made the necessary amendments and can start it with confidence that that is actually what I am going to say! No point working on it if my Sup tells me not to use any of it! I want to have the pres planned out and written for the end of the month ideally. Then I just need to practice it, but can have my 'day job' as the next chapter. Am running out of time!!
I had an epiphany about the conference last night which caused me to have a lovely nights sleep ;0) I realised that even if I stammer and stutter and give the worst presentation ever - what can *actually* happen to me? Will I be marked badly and have to repeat it? No. Will people jeer at me and throw tomatoes? No. Will I fail my PhD? No. An exam of some kind? No. This is the first presentation I have *ever* had to do that is purely to disseminate information, without fear of retribution. The only thing at stake is my pride, and if I work hard and practice, practice, practice, then even if it is terrible on the day, if I feel that I worked hard and tried my best then I can't feel bad about it. All I have to be worried about is being nervous doing the presentation - but there is really no need, it should be fun in a twisted way! I get to show off my ideas to like-minded geeks! We are all there at this big geek assembly to talk about waht we love most - politics. And we all talk to each other about it, in presentations, and ask each other questions, we agree and disagree and get off on it! So, with that in mind, I have much more calm. I felt that I was being marked, was going to be humiliated - that it was, ultimately, a test but it ISN'T.
Thank goodness!
x J
and looked up accommodation for my and DB's trip away after the presentation and for his beeday... and bought him some beeday pressies... and emailed my friends... and pondered.
Decided in the end to email my work to my Sup - the 6,000 words I wrote last week for the conference - and await his response before moving on too much with it. I tried to work on it all day and it took me that long to realise I wasn't avoiding it as such, I just wasn't sure what I was meant to be doing with it! I mean, do I spend days re-writing it for Sup just for him to tell me to write it again for whatever reason? What's the point in that? I may as well send it to him as it is now, and then if he tells me it is trash I haven't wasted days editing it for no reason. If he says it is good this will give me some lovely, much-needed motivation to tighten it up and make it PhD-worthy. Whatever happens, I realised I could do with some outside input before moving on with it. Is the beginning of term so am not expecting a quick reply, but feel happy that I have sent something with some depth to him to show am not just sitting at home being pregnant and absent-minded... (shhh, don't tell him!)
I have eczema coming up on my fingers and it itches me :0( Is a sign of the cooler times obviously. Am feeling quite christmassy! May be peaking a bit early?!!
Oh, I emailed an Indian contact who has offered their translation services too... please, please help me! Oh AND I heard from my RA over the weekend, after I sent him an email saying that time was running out about the translation work and could he donate the money I paid in advance to his NGO, saying he will have it done soon. Excellent, I love 'soon'...
Tomorrow I am going to get out my revised chapter outline and, I think, get out the info for the next chapter, which is the 'Indian voice'... I have quite a bit of info already, before needing the interviews... I will sort out the conference presentation when I have heard from my Sup, made the necessary amendments and can start it with confidence that that is actually what I am going to say! No point working on it if my Sup tells me not to use any of it! I want to have the pres planned out and written for the end of the month ideally. Then I just need to practice it, but can have my 'day job' as the next chapter. Am running out of time!!
I had an epiphany about the conference last night which caused me to have a lovely nights sleep ;0) I realised that even if I stammer and stutter and give the worst presentation ever - what can *actually* happen to me? Will I be marked badly and have to repeat it? No. Will people jeer at me and throw tomatoes? No. Will I fail my PhD? No. An exam of some kind? No. This is the first presentation I have *ever* had to do that is purely to disseminate information, without fear of retribution. The only thing at stake is my pride, and if I work hard and practice, practice, practice, then even if it is terrible on the day, if I feel that I worked hard and tried my best then I can't feel bad about it. All I have to be worried about is being nervous doing the presentation - but there is really no need, it should be fun in a twisted way! I get to show off my ideas to like-minded geeks! We are all there at this big geek assembly to talk about waht we love most - politics. And we all talk to each other about it, in presentations, and ask each other questions, we agree and disagree and get off on it! So, with that in mind, I have much more calm. I felt that I was being marked, was going to be humiliated - that it was, ultimately, a test but it ISN'T.
Thank goodness!
x J
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
splat
I handed in my paper, I have receipt of acknowledgment for my paper; I am pleased!
So that is done. No fanfair and in the end it does seem that I am the only one who has handed it in on my panel! But is not big deal, and is very rough. I now have a couple of weeks to tidy it up for the panel to read, which I will do for the end of the week and then send to my Sup. I shall then change it for my PhD - or at least do it in rough form ready for when I come off maternity leave (must remember not to get anal about stuff now, just need to get stuff down!), then do the presentation. Can't *wait* to start on the presentation and feel some sense of control over it, am so nervous and worried and am having bad dreams about it! My friend who I was meant to be staying with over the conference weekend has let me down with a sudden wedding she didn't know about... so will stay with my other friend who lives right near the venue and was my preferred choice anyway! Wee, am very pleased.
Am feeling a bit stressy about work and fitting everything in in time so am going to have a bath and chill out for a bit. My ma went home today to and am feeling somewhat bereft :0( Am knackered and taking the day off, so ner.
x J
So that is done. No fanfair and in the end it does seem that I am the only one who has handed it in on my panel! But is not big deal, and is very rough. I now have a couple of weeks to tidy it up for the panel to read, which I will do for the end of the week and then send to my Sup. I shall then change it for my PhD - or at least do it in rough form ready for when I come off maternity leave (must remember not to get anal about stuff now, just need to get stuff down!), then do the presentation. Can't *wait* to start on the presentation and feel some sense of control over it, am so nervous and worried and am having bad dreams about it! My friend who I was meant to be staying with over the conference weekend has let me down with a sudden wedding she didn't know about... so will stay with my other friend who lives right near the venue and was my preferred choice anyway! Wee, am very pleased.
Am feeling a bit stressy about work and fitting everything in in time so am going to have a bath and chill out for a bit. My ma went home today to and am feeling somewhat bereft :0( Am knackered and taking the day off, so ner.
x J
Sunday, 20 September 2009
All done!
Woo, my paper is done!
I just finished it, was going to leave it till tomorrow and just thought i would have a tinker and managed to get it done! Is such a brilliant feeling!
I worked for about 2 hours and then my ma came to stay yesterday so we had some drinks (not me, obviously) and went out for dinner (where I ate a lot, obviously) and i had the most awful, horrid night's sleep. I woke up at 3am wide awake, and then at around 4am beanie woke up and kicked alllllllllll night. I had horrid dreams that he was being hurt or was an alien and that I was far away from home with people who wouldn't look after me and I was so worried about bean. I woke up feeling vile and... hungover?! And guilty that I hadn't been able to look after Bean, though it was a dream. Went out and about to the local festival today, came back and tried to work and couldn't, decided to leave it till tomorrow but then did it just now as was checking emails anyway. Soooo happy as it means I can have tomorrow off! Completely. Will email it off to someone (who?! Does anyone care?!) and that's it. Am having Tuesday off too wooty! Then Weds, Thurs and Fri will re-write it as it is actually 5,750 words of Very Rough-ness - I wouldn't normally even send this draft off to my Sup to check. But I keep thinking that he did say it could even be in note form and to only make it 20 pages. It is 21 pages and not in note form, but an essay with an abstract, keywords, intro, middle and conclusion AND pretty much all my references. Albeit it's not very well worded (bit wordy and colloqiual), I would prefer more sources to be used as I rely on a core few which isn't all that representative, and I would like to see if I need to add another facet to the argument or if I really can leave it out (i have it written in atm, but very roughly and pretty much in note form). Some refs aren't in there and it needs some serious tightening up. But it is a decent first draft, the argument is there, the intro matches the content and my thesis is backed up by empirical evidence. Lots of checking and re-writing aside it could be that it will always seem banal to me because I know it so well, but actually be of interest to someone else... hmmm!
So, another deadline met and down, next one is to get this into a decent draft and off to Sup, and also to work out how it fits into my PhD! May need some rewriting again. THEN, I need to get on with the presentation. I hope I don't need powerpoint. I can't wait to start practising it so I can feel more in control you know?
After the presentation I will only have 6 working weeks left before I start to wind up for maternity leave. In this time I have to write two chapters and plan another. Oh God, I really do have to. Maybe instead of winding up totally I will go part time for the last couple of weeks... that will give me two months, a month for each chapter. And some of those chapters have already been written, and by some, I mean about 2,000 words which is a good start?!
And breathe. I will get my PhD, I will.
x J
I just finished it, was going to leave it till tomorrow and just thought i would have a tinker and managed to get it done! Is such a brilliant feeling!
I worked for about 2 hours and then my ma came to stay yesterday so we had some drinks (not me, obviously) and went out for dinner (where I ate a lot, obviously) and i had the most awful, horrid night's sleep. I woke up at 3am wide awake, and then at around 4am beanie woke up and kicked alllllllllll night. I had horrid dreams that he was being hurt or was an alien and that I was far away from home with people who wouldn't look after me and I was so worried about bean. I woke up feeling vile and... hungover?! And guilty that I hadn't been able to look after Bean, though it was a dream. Went out and about to the local festival today, came back and tried to work and couldn't, decided to leave it till tomorrow but then did it just now as was checking emails anyway. Soooo happy as it means I can have tomorrow off! Completely. Will email it off to someone (who?! Does anyone care?!) and that's it. Am having Tuesday off too wooty! Then Weds, Thurs and Fri will re-write it as it is actually 5,750 words of Very Rough-ness - I wouldn't normally even send this draft off to my Sup to check. But I keep thinking that he did say it could even be in note form and to only make it 20 pages. It is 21 pages and not in note form, but an essay with an abstract, keywords, intro, middle and conclusion AND pretty much all my references. Albeit it's not very well worded (bit wordy and colloqiual), I would prefer more sources to be used as I rely on a core few which isn't all that representative, and I would like to see if I need to add another facet to the argument or if I really can leave it out (i have it written in atm, but very roughly and pretty much in note form). Some refs aren't in there and it needs some serious tightening up. But it is a decent first draft, the argument is there, the intro matches the content and my thesis is backed up by empirical evidence. Lots of checking and re-writing aside it could be that it will always seem banal to me because I know it so well, but actually be of interest to someone else... hmmm!
So, another deadline met and down, next one is to get this into a decent draft and off to Sup, and also to work out how it fits into my PhD! May need some rewriting again. THEN, I need to get on with the presentation. I hope I don't need powerpoint. I can't wait to start practising it so I can feel more in control you know?
After the presentation I will only have 6 working weeks left before I start to wind up for maternity leave. In this time I have to write two chapters and plan another. Oh God, I really do have to. Maybe instead of winding up totally I will go part time for the last couple of weeks... that will give me two months, a month for each chapter. And some of those chapters have already been written, and by some, I mean about 2,000 words which is a good start?!
And breathe. I will get my PhD, I will.
x J
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