Or am a nightmare in a nightmare...
I dunno. I just cannot cannot cannot stay positive about work. I can't do it. Am looking into going part time though have no idea if this is possible in the writing up year. Am completely stuck and pressured and am not really coping very well. To the point that I am starting to think about going to the docs. I try and talk to DB and he stays quiet offering nothing. Then reassures me that it will be ok... or offers to give me a half day on a weekend. A half day won't touch the sides! Why am I so stressed? I mean, I have a roof over my head, I have money, I have a lovely family. What is wrong? really? I should work more and then it will be ok right? I should work every evening, every nap time, maybe get up at 6am and work in the morning.
Why can't I do this? I am lame. I am fu*king *everything* up.
x J
I dunno. I just cannot cannot cannot stay positive about work. I can't do it. Am looking into going part time though have no idea if this is possible in the writing up year. Am completely stuck and pressured and am not really coping very well. To the point that I am starting to think about going to the docs. I try and talk to DB and he stays quiet offering nothing. Then reassures me that it will be ok... or offers to give me a half day on a weekend. A half day won't touch the sides! Why am I so stressed? I mean, I have a roof over my head, I have money, I have a lovely family. What is wrong? really? I should work more and then it will be ok right? I should work every evening, every nap time, maybe get up at 6am and work in the morning.
Why can't I do this? I am lame. I am fu*king *everything* up.
x J
2 comments:
Hi. I am also a PhD student, and have been following your blog. I am still in the beginning of my PhD, but had to do my MSc by Research whilst working full time, and trying to fit in handball practice/games and meeting my boyfriend etc. So I have an idea of feeling overwhelmed. Something I found to work well was to write all I need to do on a piece of paper (small chunks at a time…so it is not e.g. Discuss results, but discuss on A, discuss on B etc etc, in manageable tasks (sometimes I also had draw graph or something that small), and then start cutting out from the list. Depending on how I feel I would start with the easiest or the hardest (I am a morning person so would do hardest in the morning, and in the evening would do the small little things which do not need any thought). I admire you for managing with all the things around you and look forward to reading more posts.
Hey Cecilia
Thank you for your help :0) I will indeed start trying to break my work up into smaller chunks - so rather than saying 'finish this book' I shall make a small aim to read a few pages and this will probably help m,e feel more in control.
Good luck with your PhD! It is fun really, honest ;0)
x J
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