Wednesday 8 February 2012

Got my mojo back

Yup siree.

After the shittest couple of weeks I am feeling much better and my life laundry kerfuffle is also going well, starting with the fact that I found a bank card I lost ages ago so couldn't log in to see my account (is an old bank card, old account and so have no idea what is going on with it!) and the bank is a train ride away!  Plus I don't know any new numbers they tell me I need to know for security!  I know nothing.  Anyway, managed to log in with the card and see that i am wonderfully not overdrawn and that has calmed me loads (one of those niggles you know, that grows and grows but you just daren't know the truth ;0)).  I have almost signed up to do the london to brighton cycle ride in June (only for the party afterwards I confess and to get some nicer thighs!) and am considering another triathlon.  Exercise wise I am giving myself until this weekend off then I have to get out and run around.  I can feel my flab undulate around my middle when I walk which makes me feel rank. 

This week I am concentrating on getting into my reading again, which I have just started to do (before I found my bank card and needed to log in to see what drama there may be!).  I am not doing any references, editing or anything else this week or next.  I shall start introducing more work in two weeks time when I am on a roll with this.  One thing at a time.

I now have to do some online shopping which consists of ticking boxes and pressing send.  Then computer is off and I have to read four journal articles today.  I am reading one that is most pleasing and filling in my huge gap in the lit regarding aid/humanitarianism.  I have been neglecting this in favour of reading about my other topics but this one needs some serious attention.  I feel I can get into it now I have polished off my political chapter.  My humanit chapter is the next to be edited, after I have written the first draft of the discusssion.  I am also working tonight.  just for an hour, to get back into working eventimes.

I have a personal dilemma re: work and personal life.  I have a wedding I have been invited to on the 7 April - easter down South for someone I am not that close to.  DB is going though and without the PhD I would go too...  But it would take four/five days out of my PhD time to go and my draft is in for the 27 april (at the latest, I really want it done for the 22nd)!  I cannot go?!  My sister in law is due her baby around that time so if she popped in time and we could see her, new baby and go to the wedding that would be great, as I *have* to go and see the bubba, of course. My PhD is not *that* important ;0)  However, this is not likely which would mean we go down, spend four days going to the wedding (travelling there takes a whole day) then come home only to go back and meet the baby.  This would take so much of my time?!  I can't!  But I feel like a cow not going to a wedding because I have to work?!  Oh dear.  Why do we live so far away from everyone?  I have a good friend's wedding on the 5 may - three weeks before my submission date and also down South (arg) but I am definitely going to that, he is a dear friend and I will probably need a break by then.

So do I go down south twice in April, or just the once to see the baby and stay up here the other time with four days of work and the house to myself?  I want to do the latter but will feel really selfish and immature not going to a wedding for work.  I just feel that everything is scrapped this year because of work - even xmas and new year and stuff were quiet because of work (and my birthday and of course, if I don't go to the wedding, easter too) but this is fine and how it should be.  After June I will be everywhere seeing everyone and all smiley.  Till then, I am afraid i am a walking talking PhD student nearing submission.  Though only other PhDs would understand what that means ;0).  Arf,  if anyone has any advices I would love to hear them!

laters y'all!

x J

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey Jayney
I know I come from the perspective of yet another PhD student but I would forego that wedding for the sake of milking four days of quiet, concentrated quality work time, something you're clearly not getting a lot of in everyday life. Chances are if you were to go you would just spend all time fretting about the time you're 'wasting' away from your work and not enjoy it much as a result anyway, be cranky with DB and the bub and all that jazz. Plus, you say yourself you're not that close to the person in question, so in a way does it matter too much what they think about your decision to stay away from the wedding? It is a very big time - and money - sacrifice for someone you're not really that close to, surely that coupled with the fact that it's right before submission time of your DOCTORATE would make anyone appreciate the decision. What does DB think?
B x

Numpty said...

Thanks for your advice! I am glad for it, working from home etc I never see other PhDs who know what my life is like so your input has been most helpful! I am not going!

x J