Arg it is raining so hard here today!
is quite nice though because I have pushed the coffee table in the sitting room against the big window facing my front garden and can watch the rain and wind and be all cosy ;0) Not in the mood for shutting myself away in my room today - it's too messy! And I need to think, minus laptop (I turned it on reluctantly to remind myself of my research question) so this is dandy.
Wedding plans are coming apace! We sorted out our rings on Saturday, am so excited. they are being handmade so we have to wait a few days for the designs. And I am waiting in this morning for a dress I have ordered that is just so lovely and I hope it looks good on. It isn't white but is very very lovely. Heard from my Ma and sis over the weekend and they wish me a nice day but have decided I shouldn't contact them again. Massive overreaction, my mum is clearly throwing her toys out of the pram because she is missing her society wedding, and my sis is a mini-ma so dutifully following suit, sending me strange uber-formal texts. I wish she could just chill and be my sister instead of this pompous old get, but hey ho, she's old enough now for me to have to just deal with it rather than try and sway her in any way. I knew my mum would be sad and disappointed, even a bit hurt that we hare having a private ceremony. But she won't even let me explain, preferring to put the phone down on me which I think is mighty unfair. I have explained anyway but she won't listen, and that is absolutely her choice and right. If she wants to not see us again then I guess I just have to deal with it. I am mostly angry and irritated but it isn't changing my mind in any way - we have a soemtimse frought relationship anyway and if it means I can have a bit of time away from the stresses and childishness that is my family (too many bored people whispering poison in each others ears to shit-stir for fun) this is no bad thing. I think I am mostly cross that she would rather split the family up than hide her bad feeling, wish me well and let other family members make their own mind up. Instead she is stirring it up and seems to think that punishing me by kicking me, Bean and future grandchildren out of her life is a move forward which is so bizarre and self-centered when we are, we must remember, talking about *my* wedding day, not hers. And I can only sit and watch the car crash unfold. Oh well, if that's how it is, that's how it is. I am fine about it, but really, it is pathetic. RANT OVER! Sorry to let rip, but I can't talk to anyone about it - my mate is on holiday and DB is so angry with my mum that if I start whining he goes off on one which is just as pointless.
And work is going well! Slow which is really stressful because it is now september and I have so much to do. but I have worked in the evenings and when Bean was napping and have planned out the discussion chapter by accident. I am trying to fit the empirical chapter into two chapters which is why I need the research question. Today I hope to plan this new chapter and start editing my old chapter. It needs to be argument driven, which I have planned out now, instead of subject driven and needs tightening up.
So much to do but I am moving forward!
x J
is quite nice though because I have pushed the coffee table in the sitting room against the big window facing my front garden and can watch the rain and wind and be all cosy ;0) Not in the mood for shutting myself away in my room today - it's too messy! And I need to think, minus laptop (I turned it on reluctantly to remind myself of my research question) so this is dandy.
Wedding plans are coming apace! We sorted out our rings on Saturday, am so excited. they are being handmade so we have to wait a few days for the designs. And I am waiting in this morning for a dress I have ordered that is just so lovely and I hope it looks good on. It isn't white but is very very lovely. Heard from my Ma and sis over the weekend and they wish me a nice day but have decided I shouldn't contact them again. Massive overreaction, my mum is clearly throwing her toys out of the pram because she is missing her society wedding, and my sis is a mini-ma so dutifully following suit, sending me strange uber-formal texts. I wish she could just chill and be my sister instead of this pompous old get, but hey ho, she's old enough now for me to have to just deal with it rather than try and sway her in any way. I knew my mum would be sad and disappointed, even a bit hurt that we hare having a private ceremony. But she won't even let me explain, preferring to put the phone down on me which I think is mighty unfair. I have explained anyway but she won't listen, and that is absolutely her choice and right. If she wants to not see us again then I guess I just have to deal with it. I am mostly angry and irritated but it isn't changing my mind in any way - we have a soemtimse frought relationship anyway and if it means I can have a bit of time away from the stresses and childishness that is my family (too many bored people whispering poison in each others ears to shit-stir for fun) this is no bad thing. I think I am mostly cross that she would rather split the family up than hide her bad feeling, wish me well and let other family members make their own mind up. Instead she is stirring it up and seems to think that punishing me by kicking me, Bean and future grandchildren out of her life is a move forward which is so bizarre and self-centered when we are, we must remember, talking about *my* wedding day, not hers. And I can only sit and watch the car crash unfold. Oh well, if that's how it is, that's how it is. I am fine about it, but really, it is pathetic. RANT OVER! Sorry to let rip, but I can't talk to anyone about it - my mate is on holiday and DB is so angry with my mum that if I start whining he goes off on one which is just as pointless.
And work is going well! Slow which is really stressful because it is now september and I have so much to do. but I have worked in the evenings and when Bean was napping and have planned out the discussion chapter by accident. I am trying to fit the empirical chapter into two chapters which is why I need the research question. Today I hope to plan this new chapter and start editing my old chapter. It needs to be argument driven, which I have planned out now, instead of subject driven and needs tightening up.
So much to do but I am moving forward!
x J
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