Hate the PhD. Don't want to do it any more at all!
Sup isn't impressed I am taking time off, i can tell by the tone of the emails. However, this could be worry 'sounding' like irritation.
I did get some feedback from my discussion chapter which basically said I am confused by my concepts. Now, this could be true and would worry me at this stage of the PhD. I wonder how i got by for five years without anyone picking this up, then realise that this is all part of the farce that is me doing a PhD. Then I think well, I know what I mean, but why can I not convey this? And then I think bah, it's all rubbish. And then I think, well if I can't do right for doing wrong what's the fucking point?!
I am having a shit time, granted. A shitty, shit time. However, I have to work (tomorrow). I really, really don't want to - I can't remember what I am doing, or why or why anyone gives a toss. Do I have to put myself through this just to get some award no bugger is going to care about? My DB thinks it is all just a time taking hobby, maybe i should get the hint.
I emailed my Sup and said that if I have got the concept muddled, and therefore the argument, then the central part of my thesis falls down. I said what I meant (I wonder if he remembers my old chapters that back up this contention?!) by the argument and am now just waiting for him to get back to me and say oops, you look like you're going to fail then. I feel depressed and pointless and like the stupid PhD is a the centre of, and yet the least of, my worries.
Anyway, after that, tomorrow I shall work for one hour. I shall rearrange my deadlines, work on a bit of the lit review and then sit and watch tv. I am knackered, stressed and pissed off.
Bah!
x J
Sup isn't impressed I am taking time off, i can tell by the tone of the emails. However, this could be worry 'sounding' like irritation.
I did get some feedback from my discussion chapter which basically said I am confused by my concepts. Now, this could be true and would worry me at this stage of the PhD. I wonder how i got by for five years without anyone picking this up, then realise that this is all part of the farce that is me doing a PhD. Then I think well, I know what I mean, but why can I not convey this? And then I think bah, it's all rubbish. And then I think, well if I can't do right for doing wrong what's the fucking point?!
I am having a shit time, granted. A shitty, shit time. However, I have to work (tomorrow). I really, really don't want to - I can't remember what I am doing, or why or why anyone gives a toss. Do I have to put myself through this just to get some award no bugger is going to care about? My DB thinks it is all just a time taking hobby, maybe i should get the hint.
I emailed my Sup and said that if I have got the concept muddled, and therefore the argument, then the central part of my thesis falls down. I said what I meant (I wonder if he remembers my old chapters that back up this contention?!) by the argument and am now just waiting for him to get back to me and say oops, you look like you're going to fail then. I feel depressed and pointless and like the stupid PhD is a the centre of, and yet the least of, my worries.
Anyway, after that, tomorrow I shall work for one hour. I shall rearrange my deadlines, work on a bit of the lit review and then sit and watch tv. I am knackered, stressed and pissed off.
Bah!
x J
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