Wednesday 4 April 2012

Head back on, all systems go, go, go!

I am back in action now and stopped being mopey.

A) I don't know what is going on and may well see a perfectly happy little baby next week;
and
B) If I don't I shall be able to get a drs sick note which I shall proudly present to Uni and get two weeks off to do my moping then.

At the mo I have a 50:50 chance of still being pregnant or not so may as well look on the bright side.  I sobbed mah wee heart out yesterday, then picked up my Bean and it all got much better from there.  I did some work last night to make sure that when I came to it today I knew what to do.  I am behind and it is scaring me!

I have not heard from Sup about my discussion ch which is also scaring me. 

My jumper smells, which is not scary but is gross.

I also asked DB to stay here over easter.  This is a fucker because I did plan to work solidly for four days and get this chapter written. However, I am not sure that I wouldn't just go into myself too much; I am too knackered to exercise (whatever is going on my body still thinks it is mega preggo) so wouldn't go out for that and all my friends are with their families doing easter stuff.  So it would be tres lonely and my days would lack structure.  I would just sit in front of the laptop for hours and be lonely, I know it.  This way DB has said he will take Bean out lots so I can work as much but
I will have their company and support.  Hopefully I will get as much done anyway, just in a different way :)  Also, if anything were to happen with this bubs then I want DB here to help me out!

Soooo. WORK.  Today I am writing out the plan I wrote last night for my lit review chapter.  I am to remember that it is to be argument-led, not literature led; to be focused and selective (don't panic-write everything you know just because you know it); and tally in with my chapters and the themes in my discussion chapter.  I am to write a chapter that shows where my ideas for the research came from so a newbie would have some idea of the background of the concepts and why there is a case to be answered.  I have kind of done this planning, today is about giving the intro a form of structure and starting to write.  Write *anything*, just write.  Tomorrow I want to be able to come to it and hit the ground running.  I have until nextThursday - two days longer than I thought, hurray :)  thurs is also Scan Day of Dreadedness so I shall start my sick note time from then, if necessary.  I only have one week to write my methodology chapter (and the childminder is off; that was/is going to be a week of evening working hell) and then 8 days to write my intro and concl (not so bad methinks).

Last few weeks advices:  get it DONE!  My very motivated and punctillious friend keeps extending her deadlines and says to me she could finish her PhD in three months she reckons but is getting an extension anyway.  Let me tell you this: she has written *more* than I have and probably better, and I am finishing my first draft by the 27th and whole thing in less than 2 months.  This just shows that if you have the time, you will fill it.  I don't think at this stage you can take longer and do it at a nice, relaxing pace...  I think at some point you need a deadline, a proper one, to get you motivated and keep kecking you up the butt with The Fear or it will take *forever*.  I am glad I have my deadline; I know if I extended (sick note notwithstanding, it is quite different) I would just watch tv today and tomorrow and have this stress in a few weeks time ;0)  Maybe that is just me though ;0)

Right, better do some of this work so I can eat my doughnut.

x J

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