So I was meant to work this morning but DB went out for a quick trip to the gym and didn't get back till lunchtime! by which time I had lots of time to dwell and analyse every twinge and nasty pain and get all afeared and now I am meant to be working but I can't concentrate :(
I am totally screwed. Totally, and utterly screwed. I did not think for a millisecond, after having the best, easiest, pregnancy with Bean that my next pregnancy, my celebrate-life-and-finish-Uni baby would be such a nightmare. I might not finish in time now; I probably won't. Uni will be penalised re: funding and I will be in the shit. i really wouldn't want to have to bring this up in every interview which asks why I went over my deadline?! I can't work and working this weekend was *vital* to meeting my deadlines. I cannot concentrate, I cannot care that I can't concentrate. I am so angry that I have to concentrate but I am over a barrel, whichever way I look at it.
I don't know if you can get retrospective sick notes - I doubt it. I could get a note for the two weeks following my mc, maybe but i would need those weeks to recover and in the meantime it is *this* week I need the note for. My Sup is going to be mental.
I hate that I am going through this and the one thing at the forefront of my mind is this fucking course. I am very angry about this, at myself as much as anything because my deadlines are so tight. It is how I work best though, and I really did not know this was going to happen. I don't think anyone factors in a 'death' contingency plan when planning deadlines ;0)
I desperately want to switch off and look after myself but I know the best thing would be to work. I suppose I just wish things would start happening (if they are going to happen, which I think they are) then I can just stop work and focus and start to move on mentally. It's the being pregnant but not being pregnant that is killing me.
Fucking hell, I hope no bugger has to read this! It is great having this blog though as a diary of my PhD. I looked through some old posts yesterday and so much has happened that I don't remember and am very grateful for my record, this is important too. I mean, I am meant to submit in 7 weeks! wow, that would be cool.
I think I shall have to mope about for now and do a LOT of evening working when I am better.
The thing that gets me too is what if everything is ok really, and baby really was hiding in the scan? then I would have missed my deadline and all for nothing. I would have no sick note, no excuse, nothing but also no work.
But I would have a healthy baby... and so the rest of it can go jump off a cliff I suppose ;0) I guess I would work night and day with a smile on my face if that were the result.
x J
I am totally screwed. Totally, and utterly screwed. I did not think for a millisecond, after having the best, easiest, pregnancy with Bean that my next pregnancy, my celebrate-life-and-finish-Uni baby would be such a nightmare. I might not finish in time now; I probably won't. Uni will be penalised re: funding and I will be in the shit. i really wouldn't want to have to bring this up in every interview which asks why I went over my deadline?! I can't work and working this weekend was *vital* to meeting my deadlines. I cannot concentrate, I cannot care that I can't concentrate. I am so angry that I have to concentrate but I am over a barrel, whichever way I look at it.
I don't know if you can get retrospective sick notes - I doubt it. I could get a note for the two weeks following my mc, maybe but i would need those weeks to recover and in the meantime it is *this* week I need the note for. My Sup is going to be mental.
I hate that I am going through this and the one thing at the forefront of my mind is this fucking course. I am very angry about this, at myself as much as anything because my deadlines are so tight. It is how I work best though, and I really did not know this was going to happen. I don't think anyone factors in a 'death' contingency plan when planning deadlines ;0)
I desperately want to switch off and look after myself but I know the best thing would be to work. I suppose I just wish things would start happening (if they are going to happen, which I think they are) then I can just stop work and focus and start to move on mentally. It's the being pregnant but not being pregnant that is killing me.
Fucking hell, I hope no bugger has to read this! It is great having this blog though as a diary of my PhD. I looked through some old posts yesterday and so much has happened that I don't remember and am very grateful for my record, this is important too. I mean, I am meant to submit in 7 weeks! wow, that would be cool.
I think I shall have to mope about for now and do a LOT of evening working when I am better.
The thing that gets me too is what if everything is ok really, and baby really was hiding in the scan? then I would have missed my deadline and all for nothing. I would have no sick note, no excuse, nothing but also no work.
But I would have a healthy baby... and so the rest of it can go jump off a cliff I suppose ;0) I guess I would work night and day with a smile on my face if that were the result.
x J
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