Oops, I failed to really do any working this weekend!
I don't really care although the stress is starting to, er, stress me out a bit. The pressure of this fucking project is intense in these last few months, is like a jealous psycho lover that won't let me be!
However, the stress must be a good thing: it means I care, that I notice I have to work, and gets adrenaline and a sense of urgency flowing through my veins.
I did do a bit of work, just putting my literature into smaller more concise piles rather than the seven, foot-high piles of lit I had before. Now I have lots of little piles but got soooo bored I just walked off! I think I shall finish it tomorrow but will be more motivated as as soon as I have finished the silly pile-making I will be able to get writing and know exactly what literature is where. Before, the piles were too big and daunting and lord knew where that particular reference was in the quagmire. I also have a pile of 'fantastic randoms' which are refs that don't really fit into any particular theme but would link two themes, or are a fabulous alternative viewpoint from a random journal. These little refs show that I have read around and add nuance to the central debate; they please me. I was trying to just slot them into my themes before but kept worrying about how I would forget they were there, and I did. So they have a special place that I will keep looking at.
My toddler and kitten are out in the garden... there is a fine line between a toddler playing with the kitten and terrorising it... I am not sure which is going on.
SO I have tomorrow and weds to continue planning the lit review, then thurs I am writing for the next three weeks. Then it should be done! That would be an amazing feeling.
I was feeling really worried about it all last night and finally soothed myself by thinking that I am not trying to get a doctorate, I am not trying to be an intellectual, and I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. All I want to do is hand something in on Oct 12th. Hand something in. Anything. If it is utter shit and I fail, at least I handed something in. Anything more than that, even a pass with major corrections, would be amazing. I mean, in the field I want to go into (anything non-academic) I think just having a PhD will be cool, I don't think they would care about re-writes or anything - am pretty sure that is the remit solely of academia.
Just Hand Something In.
x J
I don't really care although the stress is starting to, er, stress me out a bit. The pressure of this fucking project is intense in these last few months, is like a jealous psycho lover that won't let me be!
However, the stress must be a good thing: it means I care, that I notice I have to work, and gets adrenaline and a sense of urgency flowing through my veins.
I did do a bit of work, just putting my literature into smaller more concise piles rather than the seven, foot-high piles of lit I had before. Now I have lots of little piles but got soooo bored I just walked off! I think I shall finish it tomorrow but will be more motivated as as soon as I have finished the silly pile-making I will be able to get writing and know exactly what literature is where. Before, the piles were too big and daunting and lord knew where that particular reference was in the quagmire. I also have a pile of 'fantastic randoms' which are refs that don't really fit into any particular theme but would link two themes, or are a fabulous alternative viewpoint from a random journal. These little refs show that I have read around and add nuance to the central debate; they please me. I was trying to just slot them into my themes before but kept worrying about how I would forget they were there, and I did. So they have a special place that I will keep looking at.
My toddler and kitten are out in the garden... there is a fine line between a toddler playing with the kitten and terrorising it... I am not sure which is going on.
SO I have tomorrow and weds to continue planning the lit review, then thurs I am writing for the next three weeks. Then it should be done! That would be an amazing feeling.
I was feeling really worried about it all last night and finally soothed myself by thinking that I am not trying to get a doctorate, I am not trying to be an intellectual, and I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. All I want to do is hand something in on Oct 12th. Hand something in. Anything. If it is utter shit and I fail, at least I handed something in. Anything more than that, even a pass with major corrections, would be amazing. I mean, in the field I want to go into (anything non-academic) I think just having a PhD will be cool, I don't think they would care about re-writes or anything - am pretty sure that is the remit solely of academia.
Just Hand Something In.
x J
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