Tuesday 1 November 2011

tiiiiiired

Oh I am sooooo tired.

I did some work today, the first time I have been able to for weeks it feels.  First we had the drink daaan saath, then came home and the childminder had to be off with her sick child so last week I did nossing.  Today I did some which is ace.

Am feeling so very tired because my own baby has been ill and because I haven't been going to bed early enough basically. trips away, people to stay, house to clean for guests, on and on.  Oh and I have been under the weather and rather an insomniac.  I am hoping to get some sleep tonight.

Workwise I have realised today that my first draft deadline of Dec or possibly Jan is a delusion.  I am not working on a first draft deadline any more but just a get-it-done one ;0)  No more promises of drafts, just going to plough on and start sending chapters off as and when I can.  No promises even when they are written, but basically am trying to do one a month and hope to have the first edit done for, ahem, the end of feb.  Then I shall have march, april and may to re-write and polish.  There is no point slogging my guts out and being miserable to hand it in early.

Am generally very low in myself at the moment and trying not to give in to it.  Am seriously worried that I might be approaching one of the bouts of depression that seem to get me every couple of years and last for a few months.  Then they go.  I have been feeling like this for about 6 weeks I suppose, though I was putting it down to stress/hormones.  but whatever I do I only seem to wake each day feeling more dejected.  I just can't bring myself to do anything apart from look after Bean (goes without saying he needs to be looked after) but without him I think I would be in my pjs all day just dipping in and out of work and feeling useless.  I hate these bouts and just really hope it is hormones and that I snap out of it with a bit of exercise.  Must do some running/swimming to get on an even keel again.

All will be well.  That I am oon here is a good sign, I haven't even been bothered to write about it - too mardy ;0)

Laters y'all off to pick up the wean.

x J

No comments: