Saturday 14 June 2008

Feeling estranged from PhD...

It's so odd but just now I started seriously considering my PhD topic again having had the best part of two weeks off, and instead of feeling all full of verve, I got all scared! I have done really well at putting the PhD to the back of my mind for a well-earned break and now I am so worried I can't remember what it is all about!! I am worried that I will sit down on Monday and not know what to do any more. Or, even worse, will be just really bored by it and have no motivation. Or, I will go through old notes and think they are rubbish and have a huge mountain to climb again. That's the thing with this work, you work hard and reach a peak and then hurray hurray! This PhD is grrrreat! And then afterwards there is the next darned huge trough of thinking to do, and planning, and re-orientation... and then the next mountain - another chapter, reading, organising etc. Arg! I just have to tell myself over the rest of the weekend that come Monday I will get out my notes and stuff will become clearer again. Not to worry to much. (I am a big worrier...). I suppose it is good because I am starting to think like a worker again, not a holiday creature. And am starting to take it seriously and get The Fear (my primary motivation).

Hmmm. How on this EARTH will I ever complete?

x J

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