Saturday 10 December 2011

it's ok!

I am so silly and impetuous.  Impetuous should be my middle name.  And I shouldn't talk so much ;0)

But I do feel a bit better already about my boys being gone.  And about working.  I feel really, really lonely BUT is ok.  I am going to have a small glass of wine and look at my chapter while also perusing facebook and other such sillyness so I feel I have company and am not chained to work.  If I feel i am chained I will run away, but if I am flexible about it and just have the chapter open I am much more likely to keep looking at it and do some editing.  And I have to remember that I have waited alllll day doing nothing much for DB to leave - if he had left earlier, around lunchtime say, i woould have got into work so much quicker.  But it is saturday night and *starting* work is always going to be difficult now!  And i am naturally low because my baby boy has been spirited away to the other side of the country for two WHOLE days and nights so am not naturally inclined to feel warm and confident about work.  It's all about context and perspective yes?

It's ok really.  And anyway, when I start having palpitations about work and bad dreams it really is time to sit down and have chats to myself.  And maybe more wine!  Although drinking wine at the same time as chats with myself may mean I am crazy.  Eek.

x J

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