Today was rubbish! Complete rubbish!
I tried to work and got really confused, even though I was pretty sure there was nothing confusing about what I had to do - just write! Sadly, just writing was rather more complicated than I thought!
I finally, finally - at half three - walked away from it after a whole day spent literally with one sentence under my belt. I watched a politics programme (so I didn't feel like a total skiver!) and have got some perspective since. I have also been feeling ill today bizarrely - am putting it down to too much sleep ;0)
I have decided that I need to read through my interview transcripts and take out the bits relevent for this chapter. I can do this with a highlighter and the tele, which I think will relax me and make me more productive than the horrid writer's block I have had upstairs. I was thinking maybe I should go through the copies I have on the laptop instead of my hard copies, then I can just copy and paste the info? This would be quicker but also mean I have to keep my laptop on and we have seriously fallen out ;0) Nah, I shall do it that way, it will be more expedient. Then, tomorrow when I come back to it I shall have all the citations I need and can write around them. Jobsagoodun. Better than nothing eh? For some reason I have noticed that this weekend I have not been able to work very well until I am down to the wire (i.e it is getting on to evening time). How funny. I have also learnt:
That I do not work well any more with such long stretches of horrible hours in front of me and do anything I can to avoid it!
That I am really lonely without the hubbub of my family around - a noise I previously resented when trying to work!
That I work best in shorter bursts of 4 hours or so.
That I miss my down-time with my bubsicle.
That before I had said bubsicle I would work for about 4/5/6 hours a day but not the 12 hour stints I have since become wistful about. Memory plays cruel tricks! So even though with the baby I work about 5 hours a day, four times a week, this is actually not much less than before! And I have been working evenings! Before I would do my internet procrastinations while working, resulting in probably not much work but over many hours, whereas now I work better during my 4/5 hours and do my internet rubbish largely in my own time.
So there we are. My family are home tonight and I cannot wait to see them. Not until early hours of the morning, but tonight nonetheless. And tomorrow bean is due to go to the childminder's as usual, meaning I have somehow set myself up with a ten days with no breaks! Stupid me. I can't work that much, and, as we have seen, don't work that much ;0)
I am behind on my really cramped schedule but not freaking out. After my lovely Sup email yesterday I feel i must be on target otherwise he would have said to me I need to buck my ideas up. He wouldn't let me fail! He said work on a sentence a day and build it up to five. I know he doesn't mean that literally (although I have seemingly taken him at his word today!) but is saying little, little to bigger and bigger and not to sweat the small days. So, I am going to look through my interviews and then start tomorrow with all the info to write around and build up to the analysis and hopefully start getting somewhere.
I am off to go to the shops, I need some air I think to clear my guilt and generally lethargic sicky feeling.
x J
I tried to work and got really confused, even though I was pretty sure there was nothing confusing about what I had to do - just write! Sadly, just writing was rather more complicated than I thought!
I finally, finally - at half three - walked away from it after a whole day spent literally with one sentence under my belt. I watched a politics programme (so I didn't feel like a total skiver!) and have got some perspective since. I have also been feeling ill today bizarrely - am putting it down to too much sleep ;0)
I have decided that I need to read through my interview transcripts and take out the bits relevent for this chapter. I can do this with a highlighter and the tele, which I think will relax me and make me more productive than the horrid writer's block I have had upstairs. I was thinking maybe I should go through the copies I have on the laptop instead of my hard copies, then I can just copy and paste the info? This would be quicker but also mean I have to keep my laptop on and we have seriously fallen out ;0) Nah, I shall do it that way, it will be more expedient. Then, tomorrow when I come back to it I shall have all the citations I need and can write around them. Jobsagoodun. Better than nothing eh? For some reason I have noticed that this weekend I have not been able to work very well until I am down to the wire (i.e it is getting on to evening time). How funny. I have also learnt:
That I do not work well any more with such long stretches of horrible hours in front of me and do anything I can to avoid it!
That I am really lonely without the hubbub of my family around - a noise I previously resented when trying to work!
That I work best in shorter bursts of 4 hours or so.
That I miss my down-time with my bubsicle.
That before I had said bubsicle I would work for about 4/5/6 hours a day but not the 12 hour stints I have since become wistful about. Memory plays cruel tricks! So even though with the baby I work about 5 hours a day, four times a week, this is actually not much less than before! And I have been working evenings! Before I would do my internet procrastinations while working, resulting in probably not much work but over many hours, whereas now I work better during my 4/5 hours and do my internet rubbish largely in my own time.
So there we are. My family are home tonight and I cannot wait to see them. Not until early hours of the morning, but tonight nonetheless. And tomorrow bean is due to go to the childminder's as usual, meaning I have somehow set myself up with a ten days with no breaks! Stupid me. I can't work that much, and, as we have seen, don't work that much ;0)
I am behind on my really cramped schedule but not freaking out. After my lovely Sup email yesterday I feel i must be on target otherwise he would have said to me I need to buck my ideas up. He wouldn't let me fail! He said work on a sentence a day and build it up to five. I know he doesn't mean that literally (although I have seemingly taken him at his word today!) but is saying little, little to bigger and bigger and not to sweat the small days. So, I am going to look through my interviews and then start tomorrow with all the info to write around and build up to the analysis and hopefully start getting somewhere.
I am off to go to the shops, I need some air I think to clear my guilt and generally lethargic sicky feeling.
x J
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