Grey skies, tidy house

That about sums up my morning so far! I got up at a very reasonable hour and opened the necessary windows on my laptop for academic development, sat down... and promptly got up again and went for a shower, moved plants around, made some mosh (porridge with cinnamon and honey como el gente de Guatemala) and coffee, ate it, checked all my emails, wrote emails, wrote a heading for work, checked my facebook, read the online paper and now am stuck so thought I should write my blog about how I am such a good worker.

Today definitely has a friday feel to it you know.

Work is going to go well today, I know it is. Which is probably why I have been able to wander round plumping cushions, vacuuming and taking down my beeday cards (at last). DB is out of the house so it is a good opportunity. He is relegated to working in the living room in front of the tele until he gets an office (not gonna happen) so me fussing round him would make him Very Angry Indeed.

What is not going to go so well today is my exercise club. I think I may fail spectacularly at being a regular person at this club. I really wanted to go and see people and exercise in new ways and stuff, but there are problems. One, I have only been once out of three opportunities so far. I am a compulsive skiver - if I have to be somewhere at a certain time and would rather watch tele (i.e. be able to get away with not going) I shan't go. It's a fact. I am also a compulsive exerciser, which means I go when I want to, as and when. This means I am currently not exercising when I would like to (this lunchtime for example - honestly, I really mean it, I want to go for a run) because I am saving it up for the certain evenings I am 'meant' to go. But I don't always feel like it and also, I wind down at half six on the whole. I just do - it is not in my nature to go haring around at 7pm. Another issue that I quite missed in my delight at super-PE classes is that I don't exercise to keep fit or for enjoyment - I exercise to burn calories. It is very scientific, I can't bear to be even two calories out. With exercise club I don't know how much I am burning and spend a lot of time standing round listening to instructions. I really loved it when I went but... If I exercised for a hobby it would be fine but I don't really. Oh, oh, oh! I see - it is me being the control freak again. I have to exercise in *my* way, because it is the best way for me. Lordy what am I like. I know as I write this that I am not going to go any more. I really would rather go for a run when DB gets back (hate taking my key out, drives me bonkers having to carry a stupid key and run). Then I would know I hve burnt 250kc on a 3 mile run, can plan my run out on tinternet and get dressed and be out before I have had too long to talk myself out of it. Then I come home all exhilarated, work until half six, make some dins and then watch tele - and relax. Last week as well my heart rate we still going like the clappers when I tried to go to bed at 10pm after the club. I get home at 8.10ish, then have to wash, cook dinner and an hour of tele and eating at 9pm (by which time am starving and overeat) and my metabolism is working full tilt, which is not wise when trying to sleep.

So there we are. But it is really good fun and I would like to meet people. But then that is part of the problem too - I am shy to meet people most of the time and today would rather be on my own, listening to the radio and enjoying the countryside then coming home and working. My world isn't so bad? I do want to meet other people but then on the other hand, I don't really like other people.

Well, work! Worky worky. I am reading around social theories and political/development theories to find my own unique lens through which to analyse my woik. Hopefully today should be a good day to answer some worries I have.

I ate my porridge two hours ago and am hungry already. What is this?! WHAT?! I just can't stop eating and am getting quite fat... Darned PhD.

x J

To be honest I really need a gym and a cross trainer. But are there any within walking distance? Or who don't want three months payment in advance? NOOOOO. Rubbish!

So that's my whine and guilty ducking-out of exercise club defence.